Thread by @StorySorcery, CW: suicide, mental illness In FL, we've got this thing called the [...]

CW: suicide, mental illness

In FL, we've got this thing called the Baker Act. Basically, if you're an endangerment to yourself due to a mental illness, the state can take away your rights and becomes your legal guardian. Due to childhood trauma, I was suicidal as a teen. 1/?

I kept it to myself because talking about mental health is a BIG no-no in the Black community & my family. No one knew about my trauma until I was 15 when I skipped class & wanted to jump off my school's 2nd story balcony. An teacher came at the right time and talked me down. 2/?

I was escorted to the guidance counselor's office and for the 1st time, I told my truths. I was shaking and crying. I was in pain but I felt free for ONCE. The guidance counselor nodded & called the school cop. I was told I was being Baker Act'd. 3/?

The cop escorted me in front of my peers to his patrol car. I sat in the back. He promised me I wasn't arrested. If I were, I'd have handcuffs. That wasn't reassuring. I'm a Black 15yo in cop car. I knew I wasn't arrested, but I knew I was in trouble with the law. 4/?

I was taken 70 miles across county lines to a state mental hospital. The school cop filled out 1 or 2 sheets of paperwork and abandoned me in a lobby with a tired security guard. I was only allowed 1 phone call, but my parents didn't answer. I begged the guard for more tries. 5/?

I had to call 6 times to various family members until my nana answered. Family members came up to the lobby, but they were told they had to leave. My company was a little boy whose mom dropped him off because he wanted to set his house on fire. 6/?

I watched cops drop off folks they didn't want to fill out arrest paperwork & some were escorted by fed-up parents who didn't want to deal with their GROWN kids. I waited in that lobby for hours until my parents finally came. The school never informed them where I was. 7/?

They had to pry me off my mom when it was time to go to the youth ward. I couldn't wear shoes because of the shoelaces. I couldn't wear my retainer because it was a weapon. I couldn't wear a bra because of the underwire. I had to beg to keep my glasses. 8/?

I had to strip down nude and a female staff worker did a cavity search while a male staff worker watched on. I was 15 & scared. I wasn't arrested, but I was being treated like a prison inmate. I was given paper-thin "clothes" and had to sleep on a mat in the corridor because 9/?

I was on suicide watch. The nighttime staff watched loud TV all night, NOT watching me at all. Remember that little boy who wanted to set fire to his house? Well, he finally got admitted & he put up a fight. I watched them restrain him on a table & drug him. 10/?

The next morning, I met the rest of the Baker Act teens. The Black teens tried to run away from cops & the Baker Act paperwork was less work. Most were white kids whose parents called the cops on them to "teach them a lesson." I got in trouble because I wasn't hungry. 11/?

I had to sit at a desk facing a corner until lunchtime. I wasn't allowed to look at the other teens. A simple "no thanks" was an act of defiance that sent most of us into "timeout" until we all just learned to say "yes" to survive. If we obeyed, we got treats like pets. 12/?

We made art projects, had coloring sheets, made friendship bracelets, and played emotions bingo. Sometimes, we could watch cartoons. Sometimes, we could just talk to each other as long as the boys were separated from the girls and everyone was spaced out. 13/?

My parents called up there every hour. The hospital staff got so annoyed, every time the phone rang, they just looked at me in disgust. During my therapist sessions, I was forced to relive my trauma all over again because I thought "fuck my mental health, i want freedom" 14/?

In the end, I was diagnosed with PTSD, anxiety, and severe depression. The day the state striped me of the Baker Act, I cried all day. I learned a valuable lesson: "the world treats people w/ mental illnesses like criminals so don't snitch on yourself." 15/?

You're probably asking WHY am I even telling this story? Because this was 13 years ago. It's 2020 now and nothing's changed at all. A mental illness shouldn't be a secret, but for most of us, it's the only way we can survive. You don't know what someone's going thru. 16/?

Not everyone has the luxury of telling all their truths. Sometimes, the truth has more consequences than a lie. It's a daily battle coping in secret with my illnesses because if anyone found out, I would be deemed unfit to teach and teaching brings me so much happiness. 17/?

Society believes putting all people with mental illnesses in mental hospitals or just gun us down like animals especially Black people with mental illnesses. Being treated as a human being while having a mental illness isn't just a human right but basic decency. 18/18

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