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Doing these thoughts on a separate thread so Ginny doesn’t get bogged down with notifications. SO CREATIVES/SMALL BUSINESS OWNERS AND SELF CARE!
Seeing Ginny be so open about her struggles and worries hit home and kinda sent me on a ramble on my Instagram story. So I am going to try and put those thoughts here as well. Firstly Ginny does a good job of showing what so many creators go through.
This is why this year and particularly the last 3 months have been stressful for me. As many of you know I have issues with depression usually this is managed with medication meaning that for the most part I can work with no issue.
Unfortunately I am now under investigation for a condition which has meant I have had to come off of my medication- leaving me with severe depression. On top of that this mystery condition has left me in chronic pain and very anemic. This means I am always tired at the moment.
Many peoples response have been to “take time for myself and look after myself” these thoughts are well intentioned and appreciated- and they are VALID. Problem is that is just not workable when you are the sole individual responsible for a business.
There is so much to do, and any time I take a day off- that work piles up and builds ever higher. Right now I am struggling just to function and do basic self care - let alone run a business. But I have to keep running it as it is my only income. There simple is not a choice.
I only have so many spoons, and usually fundamental self care tasks don’t Remove spoons but without my medication...they do. The fact it’s happening now- especially with a no deal brexit on the horizon- could not be a worse time. I have orders to pack, work to promote...
Commissions and Patreon work which is over due. Any day off I take because of sickness pushes that work to pile up and become an even bigger hurdle- which then impacts my customers and followers. The latter for me is particularly upsetting because I appreciate everyone of you.
When you are a small business owner there is no showing up and doing the bare minimum to get you through a couple of bad days- or taking holiday when you need a break or need time to prioritise personal life matters. Not without real big financial impacts.
Whilst I have been very lucky that my Patreons and commissioners have been understanding with delays and happy for. Their stuff to be delayed. It means that I am playing catch up and whilst playing catch up can not generate more revenue through commissions or contract work
Which inevitable means a financial short fall. (‘I hate thinking of followers etc as money revenue- but it is unfortunately a thing you have to consider when you have bills to pay) . Unfortunately this made even worse by the current economy and lack of financial aid.
That being said I know being self-employed. Does offer me benefits such as flexibility-being my own boss etc. But like anything in life it comes at a cost. I never wanted to be full time self employed- but had to because it was the only thing feasible to me at the time
I have wanted to find a day job to help balance things out but....*gestures in covid*
So many times tho, creatives like myself feel like we have to hide the downsides. Aware that we owe our success to every single one of you - and trust me there is not a day goes by that I am not thankful. I appreciate every comment that says “take care” or “‘take your time”
It’s just sometimes the reality is...we simply can’t. Not if we need to survive. Anyway if you reached this far thank you for your time. Thank you for letting me ramble.
