it actually appears the dial-pad is the speaker, not the microphone, which means the cable connects to the top of the headset?
weird.
weird.
if you want a nightmare phone, it's here: https://www.ebay.com/itm/Vintage-Rotary-Phone-With-Keypad/324407999281
anyone know when @SwiftOnSecurity's birthday is? because I've found the CornPhone