I was introduced to one of my mom's friends as a poet. She said "Oh I'm so happy that men are writing poetry again."

This happened over a year ago and it still bugs me in ways I can't completely explain.

For one, there's the insinuation that my writing is a function of some kind of trend, and not an intrinsic and significant part of who I am. But that's not entirely it.

I think part of it is that I don't often write from a place of socially conditioned "maleness." That I was resentful of being reduced to something as happenstance as gender.

Which I then realized is something women have to deal with all the time. In every occupation.

You would think this would cause me to be less bothered by the comment. But, no. A whole landscape of internal conflict opened up. Do I even have the right to complain about this? No. Not really.

But the comment itself served an indictment of both gender roles and the perception of emotionality as Other to maleness. The limiting nature of false duality. The restrictions we place on ourselves and others, waiting for breaking them to become popular so that it's ok to be you

Of course the great irony is that there's always been male poets, and we in general enjoy privilege even in the roles which are (apparently) perceived as inherently feminine.

So I'm going to let it bother me. Because it showed me for a brief moment what it's like to be an Other- (the man-poet, the woman-doctor, the black-artist). And I will take all the help I can get remembering not to take the right of self-identification away from others.