gonna be braggy for a sec since we’re coming up on the end of a hellish year.

2020 has been life changing for so many people, and not always in the good way. But I wanna celebrate the good things that came to my life this year.

1) I made it into security. And I’m killing it at my job as far as I can tell.

I didn’t plan on being here for another 4 years, when I finished my degree. But the universe had other plans and I am thriving because of that

2) I started to learn my self worth.

I’m not going to cure two decades of self-loathing in a year, and I’m not going to pretend I have. But I am building more faith in myself, more respect for myself, and more love for myself.

I start every morning yelling that you can’t stop me loving myself, and I end each night telling my reflection that I’m the one I should love in this world.

No prizes for guessing who prompts that each day.

3) I’m rediscovering who Sel is.

That’s me. Sel. Hi.
I’m a nerd. I’m a hacker. I’m a person who sees someone in need or want, and if I’m in a position to help, I will. I love learning languages. I love music that has a conceptual tone, that has layers of meaning.

Songs that you can listen to a million times, and each time you take away something new from them. I love exploring new things and deep diving into the details about them. I love trying to leave the world a better place than I found it when I woke up.

4) I reconnected with old friends.

And not only that, I was able to significantly help them and bring joy to their lives as much as they’ve brought joy to mine. Mutual joy exchange, and that’s one of the most powerful and punk things I can think of in today’s world.

5) I’m creating again.

It’s small, and likely will never see the light of day, but I rekindled the flame of my first ever love in this world: music. I’m singing more than ever before, and I’m writing songs again. It’s been a long time.

I stopped when my best friend at the time died. I felt I didn’t have anything to say anymore. And I’ve found my voice again.

6) I made new friends all around the world.

And these friends aren’t just people in infosec, though some are. Some I’m a surrogate parental figure for, which is kind of weird, and some I’m the baby to protect. And some I’m just a friend who’s there. It’s a nice balance.

7) My life isn’t all security all the time.

I no longer feel defined by infosec like I did this time last year. It’s still a part of my life, and it’s still my planned career path. But it’s not the only thing about me. (And neither is my love of BTS and kpop in general)

I’m a multifaceted person with varied interests and passions. And I’m rediscovering sides of myself that I forgot I had.

8) I have plans for the future.

I have plots and plans for a couple of years ahead, I know how I want to shape my career, and I know what my ultimate goals in life are. I know what I want to be remembered for.

I want to contribute to a more secure world outside of the corporate ones we find ourselves in. I want to bring the knowledge of this industry to the public masses and spread good practice where I can.

But most of all, I want to be remembered for being kind. For being a help to those who needed it. Spontaneous generosity. But also, someone who won’t take shit they don’t deserve. Kindness isn’t weakness, and animosity isn’t strength.

This thread is super self-involved, but it’s celebrating things in my life that have happened this year. I don’t care what you think if you think that’s a bad thing.

The people who care will probably celebrate with me, and the people who don’t can swivel

i didn’t mean to tweet this for another couple of weeks but... eh, the sentiment remains

2020 has been a hell of a year with ups and downs aplenty. we cannot appreciate the high points in our lives without lows to compare them t.

i’m grateful that this year has given me opportunities to appreciate what the universe has planned for me so far, and that i still have space to look forward to what comes next.