Read on Twitter
Also reminded of/thinking about how, if publishing only puts out a limited number of stories from BIPOC, those stories/authors often become the default spokespeople for their identities, and this is a burden/huge responsibility that no one person or story should have to bear.
We're inevitably going to get things wrong, not match up to everyone's experiences/expectations, etc because we're all creating things from our own limited perspective. It's like we need to be generalizable, but specific at the same time and that's... impossible???
I just don't understand why we wouldn't want to put MORE stories out there, so it's like a buffet and you can take what you want and leave what you don't. So that we can see representation across many different things, instead of just a handful of stories.
Why would you think things are fine, and don't need change, if there are still so many folks just waiting to find themselves in stories? Maybe not even their whole selves, not yet (we should be so lucky), but like... aspects, man. Pieces of me that I haven't been able to find.
We can't be everything to everyone. Our stories can't be everything to everyone. But they/we can be something to someone. And we're just not given the chance to be that at all.
And I love my stories so much and I think they could do good things whenever they become like... Actual Things out in the world but it's so tiring to be so scared of them becoming Actual Things, too. Because I know that it will make me the spokesperson for my identities.
Some things will resonate and others won't, but I don't want any of this. The burden of being one of the handful of (in my case) queer biracial Filipino writers. I just want to write books and tell stories and scream about how much I love my characters!!!
But here I am, carrying this weight around, terrified of what might happen if my dreams come true, all because we keep having these same conversations over and over and nothing changes.
And I don't know. I don't know what to do anymore. This is not an entirely hopeless situation, but it sure does feel like that a lot of the time. It's disheartening. And tough. And heartbreaking. And tiring.
There are so many awesome people at all levels who are trying their best to change this industry. But if they're not getting support from their higher-ups, then we'll stay where we are. And I'll make another twitter thread about this in about three weeks to a month.
And I have no idea how to institute institutional change, but I'm happy to help in any way I can! So if someone has ideas, please let me know! But we can't keep going like this, y'all. I'm already feeling burnt out and I'm only on the fringes.