tw// mention of suicide and self harm
i wanted to explain about BPD because i realise how many people dont have a great understanding of it and jus wanted to raise some awareness and help someone.
so id appreciate if u read and rt this x

borderline personality disorder (BPD) is part of the cluster B in personality disorders. it is a mental illness that affects people daily & causes great intense emotional instability.

causes
everyones diagnosis is completely different, with my diagnosis, it was mainly put down to events from my childhood and traumas.
past traumatic events, genetics, neglect and/or physical, sexual or emotional abuse are all causes

some of the symptoms that i do struggle with daily

fear of abandonment
unstable relationships
stress paranoia
extreme impulsive behaviour
suicidal thoughts & threats
excessive mood swings including; anxiety, fear, happiness
feelings of emptiness

self harm urges
feelings of self hate
intense episodes of depression and/or frustration
highly sensitive
easily triggered
overthinking small situations such as being ignored or left on delivered (!!!)
dissociation

feeling different
avoiding new situations
unable to say no even in situations im not comfortable in
paranoia towards certain people
panic attacks
finding it extremely difficult to let go of past events
unable / difficulty expressing how i feel

paranoia
black and white thinking
shutting off emotions
delusions
high sensitivity

the biggest symptom is fear of abandonment. the fear of being left. the constant worrying u arent good enough. there is someone better. blaming urself. blaming ur bpd. blaming everything. splitting and losing control, all because of the fear of bring left.

someone with bpd feels emotions 10x more intensely and is something that you wont even begin to understand unless u urself suffer with bpd.

imo the worst things abt living with this illness is
constant guilt
mental fog
never feeling secure/safe
psychotic episodes
coping mechanisms (self harm, substance abuse)
feeling misunderstood

some facts
6% of people will develop bpd
men and women are equally affected
10% of those with bpd will end their life via suicide
up to 75% of individuals with bpd attempt suicide
75% self harms
up to 71% of bpd patients have been sexually abused

some positives of borderlines
resilient
passionate and emotional
loyal
protective
bold
deep love and emotions

for a borderline, new people are seen as a threat. its the intense fear of abandonment, constantly not feeling enough. because of something our if our control

bpd is questioning urself. questioning ur thoughts and feelings. its living for other people not yourself.

BPD is a chronic illness and has taken over my life.
i have been thru multiple suicide attempts in the past year alone.
this is something that i, along with others, battle with daily and affects my relationships with everyone.

many people are unaware of how this can and does affect me and why i do react and act in ways that i do.
to some people its me being "needy" but to me its my intrusive thoughts telling me im not wanted and me requiring some reassurance.

i also do understand that my lows and episodes i have are extreme and for some people they find it hard to stick by me.
but tor those who do, i am really trying however its not something i can control ♡

my mental illness ISNT something i have control over and i wish i did.
its something that i battle with and am struggling with every single day.
i need as much support as i can get rn.
please dont make me feel different or treat me or anyone with a mental illness differently♡

people have made me feel different or like some mentally ill freak for so long because of this.

but i may not be 100% normal but this is ME! and i wanted to share this to help spread awareness ♡

if u have bpd pls know im so incredibly proud of you!! borderlines are fighters and absolutely everything we feel and experience is valid!!