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Leavers, listen up. We need to talk basic economics. Some of you are very confused.
Get yourself a nice rat kebab and let us sit in the rubble of what used to be a united kingdom and listen to my story.
Once upon a time... there was a balance of trade deficit...
Get yourself a nice rat kebab and let us sit in the rubble of what used to be a united kingdom and listen to my story.
Once upon a time... there was a balance of trade deficit...
This BoTD was between me and my local Tesco.
Every week I would spend lots of money in the shop. Over time, it really added up.
But never would they buy from me. It was an unsustainable arrangement, I’m sure you’d agree.
They’d always have some damn excuse.
Every week I would spend lots of money in the shop. Over time, it really added up.
But never would they buy from me. It was an unsustainable arrangement, I’m sure you’d agree.
They’d always have some damn excuse.
Apparently there’s ‘no demand’ for dog-food scented undercrackers (unisex) or my novelty garden gnomes modelled on prominent Nazis.
And yet, week in, week out, I had to buy Tesco’s food, drink and cleaning products.
Something had to change.
And yet, week in, week out, I had to buy Tesco’s food, drink and cleaning products.
Something had to change.
Firstly I dug a ditch around my house and charged myself a fee to use the bridge.
This didn’t work.
TBH, it just cost me money to dig the ditch and Tesco still wouldn’t buy my stuff.
I also forgot about the whole ditch/bridge arrangement one night.
Ow. Stitches hurt.
This didn’t work.
TBH, it just cost me money to dig the ditch and Tesco still wouldn’t buy my stuff.
I also forgot about the whole ditch/bridge arrangement one night.
Ow. Stitches hurt.
Then I started using Lidl in another town and applied for a CostCo card.
But although Lidl was cheaper, I spent more in bus fare and shoe leather. And the two hour round trip did eat into my gnome modelling.
And CostCo turned me down.
But although Lidl was cheaper, I spent more in bus fare and shoe leather. And the two hour round trip did eat into my gnome modelling.
And CostCo turned me down.
Next I tried on-line but that’s a nightmare. They’ll only leave it on the pavement - issues with the ditch and they won’t pay my bridge fees - and they’re always substituting items. Some are fine but... flumps for tampons... c’mon.
My letters and calls to their CEO have gone unanswered and there’s talk or a restraining order.
So now I’m stuck (literally, to the chair). I have a dangerous moat, an expensive and unnecessary bridge, very irritated neighbours and I STILL have to shop in Tesco.
So now I’m stuck (literally, to the chair). I have a dangerous moat, an expensive and unnecessary bridge, very irritated neighbours and I STILL have to shop in Tesco.
BTW, I turned down their offer of a Club Card. That was just them taking the piss.
