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[Diocesan Office]
Interviewer: Were you aware that the interview was today?
Jesus: Yes
Interviewer: (glances at Jesus' tunic and sandals)
Jesus:
Interviewer:
Jesus:
Interviewer: Okay, let's get started. You applied for one of our positions in evangelization, I see
Interviewer: Were you aware that the interview was today?
Jesus: Yes
Interviewer: (glances at Jesus' tunic and sandals)
Jesus:
Interviewer:
Jesus:
Interviewer: Okay, let's get started. You applied for one of our positions in evangelization, I see
Interviewer: We've heard great things about all the healings, the large crowds gathering... really exciting! But I have to say we've also got some concerns. The Director of Development flagged that, "Woe to you woe are rich" line as being really problematic for the Annual Appeal
Development Director: Yes, if I could just jump in here and say that the theme of criticizing the rich actually seems to come up quite a lot in your public statements... we're in the midst of a capital campaign, and frankly, I fear that could offend some of our major donors
Jesus: Truly, I say to you, it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for one who is rich to enter the kingdom of God.
Development Director: Right, see that's kinda what we're talking about.
Development Director: Right, see that's kinda what we're talking about.
Vicar for Clergy: ...can I just jump in here and add, that it's not just the rich you've made pretty pointed statements about. A number of the deans have said you've called religious leaders "vipers" and "whitewashed tombs." That's pretty concerning. Can you comment on that?
Jesus: Woe to any hypocrites who cleanse the outside of cup and dish, but inside are full of plunder and self-indulgence. Who impose heavy burdens on the faithful, but do not lift a finger to help.
Vicar: (Stares in disbelief)
Vicar: (Stares in disbelief)
HR Director: There's also this matter of uh, flipping over tables? Legal Counsel advised us that there is some serious reason for concern there. You'd be introducing the diocese to quite a bit of liability for damage like that. You understand that, right?
Jesus: My house shall be a house of prayer, but it has been made into a den of thieves
HR Director: So—you don't have any regrets about flipping over the tables?
Development Director: I'm sorry, but can we get back to the "Woe to the rich" part? We never really got an answer
HR Director: So—you don't have any regrets about flipping over the tables?
Development Director: I'm sorry, but can we get back to the "Woe to the rich" part? We never really got an answer
Interviewer: Perhaps we can focus on your resume. I see here that you were a... tekton? Is that right? Can you tell us a bit more about that?
Jesus: I mainly did contract work. Some carpentry. Masonry.
Interviewer: But nothing related to ministry or evangelization, right?
Jesus: I mainly did contract work. Some carpentry. Masonry.
Interviewer: But nothing related to ministry or evangelization, right?
Jesus: During my time in people's homes, I listened to stories about their lives. Learned about the crop bounties and fishing yields. Heard about sick relatives. Financial difficulties. I learned a great deal about people's lives.
Interviewer: But you weren't *actively* in a ministerial role, is I guess what I'm getting at
Jesus: I listened accompanied them. And also fixed walls and made tables.
Interviewer: But you weren't running any sort of ministry programs or overseeing interns or anything, right?
Jesus: I listened accompanied them. And also fixed walls and made tables.
Interviewer: But you weren't running any sort of ministry programs or overseeing interns or anything, right?
HR Director: And technically the evangelization position requires a master's degree, but you have no formal academic background, is that correct?
Jesus: I have been studying the Scriptures from my youth and have been active in synagogues
HR Director: But no degrees, though...
Jesus: I have been studying the Scriptures from my youth and have been active in synagogues
HR Director: But no degrees, though...
Interviewer: Bottom line, Jesus, is, we were all kind of intrigued by the reports of the miracles and the crowds... We definitely were excited to hear the numbers you were pulling in... But there are just too many red flags for us to move forward with a position in the diocese
