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This pic is so dope, the one thing that it doesn’t illustrate is how us Black men were raised to self heal, what happens AFTER this picture is the most troubling ... have to lick your own wounds and piece ourselves back together is what REALLY causes issues with communication
Not only being raised to suppress emotions but also the process of having to lick your own wounds because a conversation never took place post this image ... this turns us into the “I don’t want to talk about it” Men .. this is why we need time to “process” situations b4 dialogue
Often times here is where we get triggered most ... when we are not ready to express ourselves and feel “forced” or cornered to communicate in an effort to “fix the problem” in the very moment we haven’t fully processed how we feel .. hence why we get “distant” or “shut down”
Being raised to bottle in emotions and “figure it out” by finding a “distraction” (video games, playing outside, talking with friends) and growing into adulthood where you’re no longer feeling “controlled” .... evolves into an adult who does not like to feel controlled
This is where being overly questioned feels like an interrogation, this is where standing in our way in an effort to force a conversation when we are NOT ready becomes triggering this is where standing in faces, blocking door ways etc becomes problematic.
This is why it’s very important to schedule appointments to communicate when in relationships ... it’s okay to MAKE AN APPOINTMENT just like you do with anything else .. “can we talk about this at X time?” Give him the space to process to have a progressive conversation.
Us Men NEED to do the work to self heal but a healthy partner who creates a space where we feel comfortable expressing ourselves without feeling stonewalled or gaslit is VERY essential because the “what are you talking about?” Lack of accountability leads to us feeling is a waste
Sometimes people who want to resolve issues/disagreements right then and there suffer from over thinking and or anxiety, their need for immediate resolution stems from their own selfish need of reassurance disguised as being the “bigger person” give each other time to process
While some little girls were being reassured that “everything is going to be okay” .... us men were often emotionally neglected & emotionally abandoned being left to “figure it out” ... when these two different worlds collide in a disagreement or argument? Whew
I think there is a disconnect where some women feel men want it to be their job to “heal them” which is a clear cut sign of a man not being heard when he expresses himself. A man wants to be met halfway in having a space he feels comfortable to express himself ...
A space where both parties are listening to understand, a space where accountability takes place, a space where disrespect isn’t allowed, a space where a man doesn’t feel the only resolution is to simply abide by the “a woman is always right” “happy wife, happy life” narratives.
In closing, Men take the necessary steps to heal and understand the value in “healthy” communication ... replace “I don’t want to talk about it” with “I need time to process, can we talk about this at X time” SET A TIME!!! “Let’s talk about this at 945 tonight” ... go process!!
Ladies, listen to understand, create a space where a man expressing himself doesn’t sound like an accusatory interrogation ... when he is processing his emotions hold him accountable to a fair time frame where you BOTH agree on a specific time to resolve the issue.
Both parties should NOT try to force a conversation when you haven’t fully processed what took place or how you feel ... no standing in door ways ... no back to back to back to back calls .... no getting in each other’s faces .... UNITY, LOVE, COMMUNICATION & RESPECT!! 
