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I'm watching these videos by this detransitioner (yay good for her) turned conversion therapist (oh wait a minute) and it's absolutely wild to me how what she describes as gender dysphoria seems like a parody version of my experiences as a Transsexual, and I'm so fascinated.
Wanting to be very careful to avoid saying anything that might stigmatise or invalidate detrans experiences etc, but, on a personal level (and there's lots of ways to have gender dysphoria), GD is not just frustration with enforced gender roles.
I have angry mountains worth of frustration with enforced gender roles don't get me wrong, anyone who follows me will have seen me calling for abolition, saying it's all bullshit, etc.
But the description given by this therapist talks about how men will get their arse kicked for wearing dresses and women will get their arse kicked for talking back to a man, and when you have enough of that repression you develop the feeling you need to change sex to escape.
As a queer mtf transsexual (to use old fashioned language), I've never been super into dresses and sure I've got my ass kicked for wearing them so I learned to transition in a way I could wear clothes I could run away in.
It wasn't for the sake of dresses that I transitioned and I got infinitely more ass kicking after transition rather than before.
I'm struggling to tell for certain whether this therapist is a liar or simply confused and it's really puzzling me. Her description is nothing like GD
I'm struggling to tell for certain whether this therapist is a liar or simply confused and it's really puzzling me. Her description is nothing like GD
Her voice isn't super dropped so if she was on T it can't have been for long IMO.
I feel sad for her if she transitioned to get away from misogyny, that must have been pretty awful to be subject to *that much* abuse transition against your own feelings seemed worthwhile.
I feel sad for her if she transitioned to get away from misogyny, that must have been pretty awful to be subject to *that much* abuse transition against your own feelings seemed worthwhile.
GD for me has lived in a space between conscious and instinct, I've experienced it since I was very young. I wasn't raised with strong gender enforcement (until I came out as trans which wasn't acceptable), I was never coerced into it. I just couldn't be male. I couldn't do it.
And folks can say "well you are male though" and honestly I'm pretty unbothered by the abstract philosophy of it, the thing that bothers me is when people gender me that way going about my life, like it *feels* like they're not seeing me the person I am. It's viscerally jarring.
I don't think women or men need to be a particular way and post transition a lot of my attachment to any sort of specific identity kind of evaporated. Cis people say they don't experience gender identity and transition brought my experience of gender dysphoria closer to that.
There are degrees to which I change my appearance to conform to certain stereotypes, but those are on a day to day basis about escaping that jarring feeling.
There are specific ways I choose to do that too minimise the violence I experience as an extremely GNC person but my feminisation hasn't been a part of that attempt to minimise the violence I experience.
I've gone several years at a time pulling off soft butch looks reasonably well, I'm not really fussed about needing to look hyper feminine (although I don't mind femming up occasionally either).
Looking *male* bugs the absolute fuck out of me on the other hand. That's unbearable
Looking *male* bugs the absolute fuck out of me on the other hand. That's unbearable
I'm writing this down here because hopefully this may be clarifying for someone out there on the internet?
There's so much disinformation about what gender dysphoria is like.
There's so much disinformation about what gender dysphoria is like.
(addendum: I often hear people do debates over gender dysphoria Vs gender euphoria and I suspect some of that might just be people processing emotional discomfort differently so it shouldn't be thought out/argued too deeply)
PPS: it's common for detrans folks on the conversion therapy side to talk about frustration with "trans ppl" "pushing the idea that transition is the only answer".
I think this is a way of sowing transphobia, but either way, there is no "only answer".
I think this is a way of sowing transphobia, but either way, there is no "only answer".
It's your life, your body, you live with the consequences of the decisions you will make. Maybe you'll be happier just swallowing your GD and getting on with life, it's none of my business to say otherwise.
I found transition liberating, lots of trans other ppl do, but that's us
I found transition liberating, lots of trans other ppl do, but that's us
And also, I'm *only* describing stuff I'm observing in the realm of people who think you morally *should* detransition even if transition was a good fit for you, I'm absolutely not in this thread talking about detrans ppl in general (who have many different reasons and needs).
