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#BrazenKiddo knows exactly what parental controls are in place for him & why, & he knows he can come to either @AnnaKhronos or I to ask for them to be temporarily lifted if he wants to play a game that gets erroneously caught by a block.
That’s how you build trust with a child. https://twitter.com/robbystarbuck/status/1337121633543262208
That’s how you build trust with a child. https://twitter.com/robbystarbuck/status/1337121633543262208
Doesn’t mean he still doesn’t try to get around them (he is the child of two hackers after all...and just a child), but he also knows that the punishment comes from lying, not wanting to get around the block. If what is behind the block is appropriate for him, it will be lifted.
Setting up parental controls for kids isn’t the issue. The internet can be a scary place for kids. @AnnaKhronos and I found that out as parents when we found that Kiddo had accidentally stumbled on some porn (probably from an ad looking at his browser history).
He didn’t understand what it was. He tried to relate it to something he knew and it took him to some weird and not okay places. And when we were processing it with him (without shame or judgment), he expressed that it had scared and confused him. He’s not ready for that yet.
The parental controls protect him from that. They allow him to have fun and see things he likes, while keeping him safe from things that he is not ready to see.
And when we explain this to him, he accepts this, *and is much less likely to push the boundaries of the controls*.
And when we explain this to him, he accepts this, *and is much less likely to push the boundaries of the controls*.
Also, @BashingFash brought up a great point: “parental” controls can be used by abusive partners to track online activity, physical movement, & gain access to personal info. It’s literally the *only* responsible thing to do to alert people these controls have been put into place. https://twitter.com/bashingfash/status/1337174279553568775
I wonder how many people who are complaining that this “oversteps boundaries” have actually used Google FamilyLink. Because I have. I used it when #BrazenKiddo and I went to #CCCamp in 2019. It was one of the ways I LITERALLY TRACKED WHERE HE WAS IN CAMP WHEN HE WOULD EXPLORE.
Google FamilyLink is can be great tool, as can all parental controls. But if your child is old enough to read the email saying they are being monitored, they are old enough for you to sit down and explain why you are setting those limits. Anything else is stalkerware. Period.
You don’t have to explain the details of the tech. Explain that there are sometimes bad people and things on the internet, and these tools help keep you safe from those bad things. Explain what you will be monitoring - browser history, email, etc. - in language your kid can grok.
For us, this looked like actually showing Kiddo how we could see what websites he visited, and telling him we would check his school email. We do this sitting with him, so the process is open and he can be a part of it. If we have questions about anything we see, we ask.
