I've seen a lot of people weighing in on this in lots of ways, but here's my story. No, I don't agree we should set aside confidentiality rules if a student is struggling. Here's why: 1/n https://twitter.com/hl_murray/status/1336808982338527234

In my third year of university, I was going through a bad time. My director of studies judged (and probably rightly) that I was a danger to myself and others. He had arranged for me to see a counsellor, but as he became more concerned, he decided to set aside confidentiality.

I had no idea anything was happening. I was preparing for my first counselling session and quite upbeat. A friend made excuses to delay me - I didn't know why. Suddenly, my director of studies came into the house I was living in, and asked me to come to a meeting with him.

I wasn't expecting it and didn't feel properly dressed - but I had to go. I was wearing a skin-tight dress I'd intended to return, which I'd never had worn in front of a figure of authority. But I went. He insisted I must allow him to contact my parents.

His secretary - whom I didn't know - sat with me and, seeing I was upset, touched my shoulders. Obviously she thought it was kind; I found it very intrusive. He rang my parents in front of me. There was no answer, so he kept ringing every few minutes.

Eventually he contacted them and told them I was struggling. He told me I'd be under no obligation to go back to them; I could be found a placement elsewhere (sponsored by college). Almost immediately after my parents spoke to him, this fell apart.

I was told I had to go back to live with my parents. It was incredibly frightening. I had not come out to my director of studies; I did not feel able to explain to him why I felt so frightened.

He told me quite clearly that I was lucky to have such concerned parents, and that I should enjoy the support I had. It was incredibly dangerous. If I had been at university, I would have avoided abuse. The presumption my parents were the safest option for me, was so misguided.

This all happened years ago, so I'm able to look back and be angry and sad. But many students won't feel able to speak out. When they are told 'but your parents will look after you,' they will feel too embarrassed to disagree.

If they are told 'I'm sure your parents want the best for you,' they will believe it. Universities that break confidentiality are gaslighting vulnerable students. It can be catastrophic. It is never excusable.

For me, it resulted in abuse that shaped a lot of my adult life, including my career, and from which I took a long time to recover. All because an unqualified academic decide he was too important to abide by the law, and concluded if I was 'struggling my parents must be caring.