This is Reno. He is a dog.
Like most dogs, Reno is encouraged to void his bodily waste outdoors
But recently, Reno has made an absolutely amazing, game-changing discovery.
CATS. ARE. ALLOWED. TO. POOP. INSIDE.
We recently put some litter boxes under the stairs, a location Reno can kinda sorta access. Reno has started going down to those litter boxes and watching the parade of cats using them and the two functioning neurons in his empty brain managed to connect and he UNDERSTOOD
"AS LONG AS RENO POOP WHERE CATS POOP RENO CAN POOP INSIDE"
It was like early hominids discovering fire, or a guy spilling his peanut butter all over another guy's chocolate. The whole of Reno's universe changed in an instant.
Especially because it's been raining lately and Reno hates rain more than anything else in the world. Rain drops touching his delicate precious pelt herald THE END OF ALL THINGS. So going outside to poop in the rain??? TORTURE. DOG TORTURE
I discovered Reno's discovery when I went downstairs to check on the litter boxes and observed a fecal mass that......was far too large to have been produced by any of the cats
At first I was frightened. Was something wrong with one of the cats? Had one of them literally pooped out part of their intestinal track???

But then I realized no. No, that's not the poop of a cat.

That's the poop of a dog.
So I put up a gate to block Reno from accessing the litter area and it was like I'd destroyed every last shred of his soul
Reno: WHY HAVE U BLOCKED INSIDE POOP PLACE FROM RENO
Me: it's only for the cats
Reno: WAT
Me: only the cats can use it
Reno: WAT????? IS NO FAIR
Me: sorry buddy
Reno: UR INFRINGING ON RENO'S CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHTS U R MONSTER
Anyway now he's sulking and I would not be surprised to find poop by the gate as a form of protest
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