Read on Twitter
The oldest customer complaint in history is fucking amazing.
(Thread, sources here: https://bit.ly/3n9NRI4 h/t: @DrCarpineti)
(Thread, sources here: https://bit.ly/3n9NRI4 h/t: @DrCarpineti)
Nowadays if you want to complain it's as easy as tagging Coca Cola and calling them a cunt. You move on with your day safe in the knowledge that you made some poor social media manager out there a bit sad.
Before this you'd have to fax them, and call them "ye olde cunt", as was the custom of the 1980s. Way back in 1750 BC, however, you'd have to really be pissed in order to complain, because it involved taking a chisel and twatting it into a stone.
The oldest complaint (that we know of) was found in the ancient city of Ur in what is now Iraq. It comes from a dude named Nanni who we don't know much about, other than he was really fucking pissed about a delivery.
Sometime that year, someone called Ea-nasir - who was basically the ancient Iraqi equivalent of Yodel if his customer service is anything to go by - had allegedly royally fucked up Nanni's order.
I don't know why I said allegedly there, if his mummified corpse wants to sue me come at me bro.
Ea-nasir had also been a bit of a shit to Nanni's staff, which he was having none of.
“What do you take me for, that you treat somebody like me with such contempt?" he opened, in what would nowadays read "oi shithead".
“What do you take me for, that you treat somebody like me with such contempt?" he opened, in what would nowadays read "oi shithead".
"I have sent as messengers gentlemen like ourselves to collect the bag with my money (deposited with you) but you have treated me with contempt by sending them back to me empty-handed several times, and that through enemy territory.”
Honestly I want to see how this asshole would have dealt with the cunts at Amazon Delivery (no disrespect meant, it's just a callback).
“Is there anyone among the merchants who trade with Telmun who has treated me in this way? You alone treat my messenger with contempt!" he continued, still twatting this out in the stone in a way which would have taken hours.
“How have you treated me for that copper? You have withheld my money bag from me in enemy territory; it is now up to you to restore (my money) to me in full."
“Take cognizance that from now on I will not accept here any copper from you that is not of fine quality. I shall from now on select and take the ingots individually in my own yard, and I shall exercise against you my right of rejection because you have treated me with contempt.”
His letter finished. No other record of his life remains. This would be like if thousands of years from now an advanced civilization (probably ruled by dogs) dug up the CCTV footage of you telling the manager of Greggs their steak bake tastes like "lukewarm human shit".
As ever if you like my dumb threads on history, you'll love my dumb books on history. Great for Xmas gifts. https://linktr.ee/SunburnJamesFelton
Also as ever, if you have anything you'd like me to thread please send away, I realise it's perverted but I like doing them. https://twitter.com/JimMFelton/status/1326829126645374977
