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An effort to lighten the mood; this Brexit fiasco reminds me of the only corporate acquisition in which I've been involved.
In the early 1990s, I was a trainee solicitor and spent 6 months working in a commercial property team; my only experience of non-contentious legal work.
In the early 1990s, I was a trainee solicitor and spent 6 months working in a commercial property team; my only experience of non-contentious legal work.
I came into the office one morning to be told that there was a big deal going down that day and my supervising partner was poorly.
"Tom, it's a big ask, but can you sit in on the completion meeting to deal with the property side of things?"
"Er", sips coffee, "Ok."
"Tom, it's a big ask, but can you sit in on the completion meeting to deal with the property side of things?"
"Er", sips coffee, "Ok."
I read the file, or some of it, without gaining much practical understanding.
I gathered that the client was selling a haulage business with numerous depots dotted around the Midlands.
I gathered that the client was selling a haulage business with numerous depots dotted around the Midlands.
The meeting did not get underway until the evening.
I didn't really understand why, but the completion deadline was set for midnight.
The client was a big chap in a crumpled grey suit, but no checked shirt or trucker's cap, to my disappointment.
I didn't really understand why, but the completion deadline was set for midnight.
The client was a big chap in a crumpled grey suit, but no checked shirt or trucker's cap, to my disappointment.
We drank coffee and there were numerous telephone conversations with the purchaser's solicitors.
I wasn't involved in any of the conversations, but sat there for a few hours trying to look interested.
It was very boring.
I wasn't involved in any of the conversations, but sat there for a few hours trying to look interested.
It was very boring.
At some point, pizzas arrived with cans of fizzy drink.
I perked up a bit.
I'm not sure if I actually fell asleep at any point, but I was certainly not wide awake.
I perked up a bit.
I'm not sure if I actually fell asleep at any point, but I was certainly not wide awake.
Around 11:45pm, I was jerked into consciousness by the corporate partner shouting at me.
"Tom! What about the Daventry warehouse? What's the position?"
I stared back. Mind blank. Confusion. Ignorance.
A piece of pepper was lodged between my molars on the left side.
"Tom! What about the Daventry warehouse? What's the position?"
I stared back. Mind blank. Confusion. Ignorance.
A piece of pepper was lodged between my molars on the left side.
"Er...."
"Daventry! The warehouse! Can we agree it goes in?"
"Um..."
Silence. Red face. Client looking at me with a bemused expression. Me looking aimlessly at the file.
"Well...."
"Daventry! The warehouse! Can we agree it goes in?"
"Um..."
Silence. Red face. Client looking at me with a bemused expression. Me looking aimlessly at the file.
"Well...."
CP terminated the phone call. "We'll get back to you in a minute."
It turned out, to my surprise, that Daventry was a huge sticking point in the negotiation. No one had bothered to tell me.
CP to client: "Can Daventry go in?"
Client: "Yeah. Ok. Fine."
It turned out, to my surprise, that Daventry was a huge sticking point in the negotiation. No one had bothered to tell me.
CP to client: "Can Daventry go in?"
Client: "Yeah. Ok. Fine."
CP picks up phone.
"No problem. You can have Daventry."
Great celebrations! The blockage was removed! The deal went through and everyone was very happy.
Fatigue, lack of preparation, unrealistic deadlines and chaos won through in the end!
"No problem. You can have Daventry."
Great celebrations! The blockage was removed! The deal went through and everyone was very happy.
Fatigue, lack of preparation, unrealistic deadlines and chaos won through in the end!
