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Of course my night ends with a comedy of errors.
Out at the local pizza place with a friend, “E.” It’s been the Mondayest Wednesday for both of us and we are commiserating about our lives. As ya do. But it’s going to get better for both of us because pizza, right?
Weeeeell >>
Out at the local pizza place with a friend, “E.” It’s been the Mondayest Wednesday for both of us and we are commiserating about our lives. As ya do. But it’s going to get better for both of us because pizza, right?
Weeeeell >>
We’re seated and E & I discuss splitting a pizza as long as we both like the same crust. I remind her of the time I texted her angrily that I’d ordered the wrong one and we laugh at my pain.
Lo, a being appears. It’s our server, looming above us.
THIS SHOULD HAVE BEEN AN OMEN. >>
Lo, a being appears. It’s our server, looming above us.
THIS SHOULD HAVE BEEN AN OMEN. >>
The server mumbles something. Her name? How are we? Who knows.
“Doing well,” E replies and then nothing.
Awkward silence.
“I’ll have a pop,” I say, thinking she is waiting for our drink order.
The server returns with our drinks, & mumbles an explanation of how busy she is. >>
“Doing well,” E replies and then nothing.
Awkward silence.
“I’ll have a pop,” I say, thinking she is waiting for our drink order.
The server returns with our drinks, & mumbles an explanation of how busy she is. >>
I get it! I’ve waited tables.
Mebbe things will improve. Ha! Like my luck would get better.
We order. E adds a salad & I order garlic rolls b/c eating one’s feelings is serious business requiring carbs.
>>
Mebbe things will improve. Ha! Like my luck would get better.
We order. E adds a salad & I order garlic rolls b/c eating one’s feelings is serious business requiring carbs.
>>
Just before the server leaves, E says “oh, just to make sure, we want the hand-tossed crust, not thin.”
The server notes this down.
<time passes>
The garlic rolls are brought to the table and the server says to ME “I’ll bring your salad in a few minute.”
Not *my* salad.>>
The server notes this down.
<time passes>
The garlic rolls are brought to the table and the server says to ME “I’ll bring your salad in a few minute.”
Not *my* salad.>>
Note: there isn’t anything (plates/utensils) on the table. The server brings the salad, but not a fork.
“Can I have napkins & a fork?” E asks.
“Sure, sure,” the server replies & departs.
A few minutes later, the server reappears with napkins & pizza!
IT’S THE WRONG CRUST.
>>
“Can I have napkins & a fork?” E asks.
“Sure, sure,” the server replies & departs.
A few minutes later, the server reappears with napkins & pizza!
IT’S THE WRONG CRUST.
>>
E & I look at each other. Normally, we’d shrug it off, but not today.
We want one thing to go right today.
E says what I am thinking. “This isn’t what we ordered.”
The server looks at the order she wrote down. “I’ll have them remake it.”
E also asks — again — for a fork. >>
We want one thing to go right today.
E says what I am thinking. “This isn’t what we ordered.”
The server looks at the order she wrote down. “I’ll have them remake it.”
E also asks — again — for a fork. >>
Server returns to ask if I want a refill.
Dear lawd, PLEASE!
“She still needs a fork.” I motion to my friend’s salad.
The server comes back with a tray with refills & a utensil.
She sets the utensil by E’s salad.
IT’S A KNIFE.
E has to ask for a fork for the 4th time.
>>
Dear lawd, PLEASE!
“She still needs a fork.” I motion to my friend’s salad.
The server comes back with a tray with refills & a utensil.
She sets the utensil by E’s salad.
IT’S A KNIFE.
E has to ask for a fork for the 4th time.
>>
E and I can now not look at the knife without dissolving into giggles at the ludicrousness. I have literal tears in my eyes.
Finally! The server brings a fork, and the correct pizza.
We now have — b/c of refills — about five cups at our table, (no plates) 1 knife, & 1 fork.
>>
Finally! The server brings a fork, and the correct pizza.
We now have — b/c of refills — about five cups at our table, (no plates) 1 knife, & 1 fork.
>>
Oh yes, & a whole pizza with the wrong crust that E will bring to her family.
The server brings our checks after splitting them & says the weirdest thing to me.
(She’s barely addressed E at all.)
“Your bill is larger, I tried to make it so hers was.”
Um, WAT?
(A joke??)
>>
The server brings our checks after splitting them & says the weirdest thing to me.
(She’s barely addressed E at all.)
“Your bill is larger, I tried to make it so hers was.”
Um, WAT?
(A joke??)
>>
Server asks me if I want a to-go cup. E does & I give in. No matter.
We don’t see the server again.
Finally realizing the to-go cups aren’t happening, E & I leave.
I turn to her as we’re driving home.
“Did we get the pizza box?”
We left it on the table at the restaurant!
//
We don’t see the server again.
Finally realizing the to-go cups aren’t happening, E & I leave.
I turn to her as we’re driving home.
“Did we get the pizza box?”
We left it on the table at the restaurant!
//
