The main problem I have this evening, folks, is about the use of the word "queer". Buckle your seatbelt, baby, you're about to be offended.

I'm growing increasingly tired of entirely ordinary people appropriating the word "queer" in order to feel "special".

You're basic, baby. You are entirely ordinary. Please, for the love of GAWD, stop saying you "identify as queer" just for the attention.

Did Daddy and Mummy fight a bit? Are you a bit upset? Sorry for your pain. You're still a bit basic and a bit ordinary and dying your hair blue and calling yourself "Zog" for attention isn't helping anyone.

"Queer" as a word used to have real meaning. It used to refer to people who really were oppressed. I'll explain: homosexuality only became legal in Ireland in 1993. That means there are a LOT of people reading this who remember when it was a crime to love someone of the same sex.

Before that, you could be prosecuted for having sex with someone who was the same sex as you were. (Usually that meant men with men. Like the Victorians, nobody really believed that women could have sex with women.)

Homosexuals (gosh, it feels somehow transgressive to even type that word) in the UK were penalised, criminalised, had their lives ruined, until homosexuality was decriminalised in the 1960s.

Even after decriminalisation in the UK in the 1960s, in Ireland in the 1990s- (we SEE you, Irish handmaidens, by the way) life didn't get better for homosexual people in Ireland or the UK for a long time. Sure, they wouldn't be thrown in jail for loving someone of the same sex...

... but the societal norms remained the same. Growing up gay in small town Ireland or Britain was awful. Whether you were the only gay in the Wirral village, or the shy butch in Killarney, being gay was seen as "queer". "Queer" meant "not like us".

"Queer" became a badge of honour, carried by people who had experienced actual discrimination. "Queer" was reclaimed by the beaten-up boys and girls of generations of actual oppression. When I hear "queer", somehow it's always in a Scouse accent.

"Queer" has a noble, proud history. "Queer" reflects people who have suffered. "Queer" should be respected.

"Queer" isn't something you f**king appropriate because you're a bit basic and ordinary and want to feel a bit different and special.

Or- and I’m seeing this a bit- if you’re a white male academic wanting a bit of an “edge” for funding, so you “identify as queer” even though you’ve had the same supportive girlfriend for the past 8 years.

In case the meaning of this thread isn’t clear: STOP appropriating a word that isn’t yours. You’re not “queer” because you had a row with your dad. You’re not “queer” because you’ve written a load of papers pretending to be “queer” while your supportive girlfriend made you tea.

And we are particularly about to come for you, Mr Academic, with your queer theory and your compliant girlfriend. We might have a look at your life. I’m becoming exasperated at the funding allocated to this nonsense. Let’s have a look.