both the "it was a thank you kiss" and "ben didn't deserve the kiss/didn't deserve rey" takes show that people are seeing the romance in the st as transactional, which @bb_kate_art pointed out, or that they see rey's affection as a reward for men instead of as her own agency

like this isn't a "you have to honor rey's choices" argument because rey's a fictional character. but it's just interesting that a lot of people don't think rey was written in this scene as kissing ben for herself, as something she wanted to do, but as a "reward" for him

whether it was supposed to be a thank you for resurrecting her, a pity kiss because she somehow supposedly knew he was dying, or other reasons. it shows in many of the "ben didn't deserve a kiss, finn or poe should've been kissed instead" takes. finn and poe are good guys

so it doesn't matter that rey was never written in romantic scenes with them or in a dynamic with them described as a romance, it's not about which character rey was shown as attracted to in her own arc, it's about which male character is good enough to "deserve" a romance prize

and the fact that these takes often come from people who say they dislike reylo for feminist or activist reasons, or that ben/kylo was an abusive character or a symbol of toxic masculinity, isn't lost on me