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We know that honest feedback is hard to come by, & especially so for women & minorities. Had this Q posed to me: how do I get specific, actionable feedback if no one seems to be offering it? I'd say first, look for the "hidden message". Sometimes a vague piece of advice...1/6
...actually holds something useful. "You often ghost me on projects we do together" can be coded as "Try to increase your visibility within the group." Sometimes you have to ask a few Qs to really get at the real message. 2nd - if you get a piece of feedback that is clear...2/6
...from one person, try bringing it to someone who never offers anything specific. "I have gotten some feedback that I should _____; do you have any advice around that?" Research shows men sometimes worry women will get emotional if they are very frank, so by getting an...3/6
...issue out in the open, you invite discussion and show that you really want input. The convo may then go to other useful pieces of advice. I also suggest following up honest advice with asking whether you can periodically get the person's views on how you're advancing in...4/6
...that area. E.g., if speaking skills are an area for improvement, ask for feedback each time you present something to your team. Not only will you hone in on what's really the issue, you will be bringing the person's attention to how you are progressing (key since...5/6
...changing ppl's views of you can be hard) and you'll also be enlisting them as an advisor. Ppl tend to view those whom they've helped more favorably than those whom they haven't (cognitive dissonance). 6/6
