rick perry famously locked himself in a bathroom stall at the department of energy for 45 minutes. when his staff tracked him down and rescued him it turned out the stall was unlocked the whole time and he had to pull instead of push.

ben carson's takeover of hud operations were slowed by his refusal to enter the robert c. weaver federal building which he insisted was haunted.

mike pompeo spent two weeks early in his term hospitalized after eating a bowl of jolly ranchers without removing the wrappers, causing a severe bowl obstruction

richard grenell would routinely interrupt security briefings to request that the cia look into his allegations that the who was hiding evidence that muslims have lizard dna

mike pence takes a 45 minute break in the middle of every day for a "cat nap". he strips down to nothing but his black dress socks, puts on a plush garfield head and curls up like a kitty.

a garbage disposal was installed in bill barr's toilet at justice

wilbur ross likes to hang his head out the window when being driven to commerce meetings. staffers describe the sound of his cheeks flapping in the wind like the sound of a croupier furiously shuffling cards.

betsy devos destresses by watching a live feed of ice child detainment centers.

john ratcliffe has been lobbying for a preemptive strike on australia since june.

elaine chao has literally never showed up for work.

when he tours farms, sonny perdue likes to take his pants off and walk through the fields to really "feel" the crops. he compares it to how ancient navigators used to dip their testicles in the water to help them use wave maps.

chad wolf has been trying to arrange a meet and greet with tom clancy for six months.

every time andrew wheeler comes out of the bathroom he goes "hey woah steer clear it's a superfund site in there". literally every time.

dan brouillette lost over $30,000 investing in a car powered by water.

when he struggles to achieve an erection, steven mnuchin gives himself a little extra pep by strangling a swan.

robert wilkie took the job at veterans affairs because he thought he was going to be sleeping with hot soldiers

melania trump asked david bernhardt to handle this year's christmas decorations.

trump thinks alex azar's job is payroll

gina haspel flies to cia black sites a few times a year and subjects herself to enhanced interrogation just to feel something.

mark meadows is a vore addict.