Let me explain, a heteronomous society is a society that is acting in accordance with one's desires rather than reason or moral duty. In other words, if you were in Saudi Arabia you do what the Saudi king says. He says dress in a burqa, you do it. He says hop on one foot,you do https://twitter.com/SaintRPh/status/1336692413163778049

An autonomous society is one which has the freedom to govern itself or control its own affairs. So what I believe I can believe, I don't have to believe what the saudi king says. I have my own beliefs. You like Purple socks? Well I like green socks. Shake hands have a good day

The problem is when you say with your autonomous opinion that you like purple socks and I with my autonomous opinion say well I like green socks, you say with heteronomy that I insult you by liking green socks and that I should accept my purple socks and wear purple socks

Or the autonomous person asserting their heteronomous opinion says you have to accept my purple sock or youre a sock bigot. Now let's extend that out.

Everyone wants a democracy but they aren't living like one. They want Heteronomy.
"I am trans"
"Ok, that's fine but I think there are only two genders"
"You are a bigot and should not be allowed to participate in a free democracy."
See what happened there?

two autonomous people yet one asserts their heteronomous opinion over the autonomous one. That is why we fail as a nation. Freedom of speech. Autonomy has been replaced with Agreement of speech.

TRUE tolerance is like this:
"I am trans"
"Ok that's fine but I think there are only 2 genders"
"I disagree would you like to go have a calzone and discuss this"
"Very much! Will there be pasta"
"of course!"
"Then lead the way."

Tolerance and autonomy go hand in hand.