Take yer seats!! It aboot tae stert!! #chrismaswaeRaiph #nativerty 🐪🐫🐫⭐️
Zat time a yeer agen wen we assault yer eardrums in oor annyell #nativerty! Mine it’s best enjoyed read oot tae yer famly! I meen... whit cin go wrang?
Acos a aw rules aboot soshal distancin we is huvvin oor #nativerty ootside in a yerd! A chairs is aw spaced oot fer a select groop a mammys an daddys an we’re aboot tae go! :D
Is yeer am a sheperd, an a ask a teechur a wee favour! In exchange fer me designin aw a posters an tikkets, Kurt, who’s hame educated, is tae be a sheperd an aw! Hees furst #nativerty!
Wee Vinny hus been gied a roll a narrator... a kin oany imagine a teechur wis drunk wen she cast him :/ #nativerty
Da hus a frunt seat wae a wee flask a sumhin warm oot hees cocktail cabinet so a gie him a wee wave an stoat oan tae a stage wae a choir a primary wans... ers a festiv smell a pee an fear comin aff em awreddy! #nativerty
Kurt: (aw starry eyed, werrin a tea towel oan hees heid wae a recipe fer sauerkraut oan it): it’s jus like Hollywood, ja?
Me:(werrin wan wae a perra westies oan it): whit did a tell ye! *aw proud* #nativerty
The primary wans is mumblin an greetin froo a furst song...
wee Vinny: (aff stage in a big loud voice) wile sheperds left er flocks at nite an go in search a gin! They dinnae huv er facemasks oan so no wis gettin in!!
Me an Kurt: -aw laughs- #nativerty
Ers a big black cloud in a sky an sum ominus rumbling, bit at disnae pit us aff! Me an kurt trip oan tae a stage aw smiles, wae wee Demi Gordon (wae a face oany a mammy cud luv) – A maist grumpy sheep tae grace a #nativerty .. ever...
We’s aw beltin oot Little Donkey bit am aw distractit. A good few of audience hus brung big dugs in. Whit wer they hinkin?
*Little donkey, kine a wonky, oan a dusty road! Better hurry cerry Mary, an a son a Goad!*
#nativerty
Teechur: *hisses* Raiph!!
Me: *mouths* it wisnae me??
Teechur: *beckons me ower in at way oany teechurs an mammys cin dae* #nativerty
Teechur: I entrusted you with designing the tickets!!
Me: *aw smug an pats her erm* aw, you welcome miss...
Teechur: why did you put, “come see the German shepherd’s first nativity”??
Me: *aw shrugs an points it kurt* #nativerty
Ats a rain oan. It least it maskin a tears of a primary wans is some of a big dugs is aff er leads an stalkin dangeressly close tae a stage, mibbe attracted by a smell a weans an dinner skool mince... #nativerty
Heer she is! A star o a show! Wee Isla, aka a vergin Mary, walk aw slow taewards a stage, teks wan look it aw a dugs an jus stauns er... #nativerty
Angel Gabriel: behole! A wean is born!
Teechur: *aw frantic tae Isla* get on stage!!
Wee Isla: *shakes heid*
Angel Gabriel: BEHOLE! A WEAN IS BORN! #nativerty
Ye mibbe want tae look awa noo if yer a bit squeemish... fur reesins bes known tae hersel, wee Demi hus pult baby jeesis, who’s nae mer an a dolls heid noo, oot fae unner Mary’s goony an rolled him taewards a manger... #nativerty
In a moov a cin oany describe is utter carnish, a son a god hus been grabbed by a big Alsatian dug an is noo oan he’s way tae the loch aside oor skool, chased by a pack a whit look lik wolves.. #nativerty
Aw a weans is screamin an hus been herdit affa stage by a teechur, wile a janny try tae get baby Jeesis back fae a dugs... no affy festive, troof be telt... #nativerty
Wee vinny: *aw shouts* a bet yees dinnae expect at!
My da: *neer endin heesel laffin* it’s like reservoir dugs! #nativerty
No missin hees day in a limelite, oany kurt is left in a stable.
Kurt: *wee plaintiv voice* oh tannenbaum......... oh tannenbaum.....
Naebdy cin hear him ower a screams of a janny an a barkin o a dugs... #nativerty
A huvnae seen da laff so mush since stick man trip gettin aff a wee shoogly bus an face plant intae a pile a dug mess! It luvvy tae see him so happy!
Joy tae a wurld! #nativerty
Ats a polis heer noo an a cuttla paramedics. Janny’s cuvvert in slabbers an missin some o hees claes, bit in a chrismas miracal, baby jeesis hus made it tae a manger! Teechur is lookin murderuss tho so a better mek masel scarce! See yees efter! Hope ye enjoyed ma #nativerty!!
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