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So, yesterday @overlistener asked me to write a thread on inspiration porn.
I figured since some of this stuff needs to be said, I might as well say it. I’ll be writing this in English, since I have only a limited Dutch following. 1/
I figured since some of this stuff needs to be said, I might as well say it. I’ll be writing this in English, since I have only a limited Dutch following. 1/
Disclaimer: I rarely write threads for abled folk. Not that they shouldn’t read them, but I’m not writing it with them in mind. I’m not an educator, I’m a venter. I vent, I know a lot of disabled folk, that's basically my credentials. 2/
I don’t speak for all disabled people – I couldn’t hope to – and I myself make ableist mistakes at times. This stuff runs intensely deep in society and many disabled people have internalized ableism due to constant exposure. I am no different in that. 3/
Disclaimer no2: I’ll try to avoid getting angry, but let’s face it, I’m an angry person. And honestly, if you don’t live in a semi-constant state of outrage at the state of the world, either you’re sleeping or your moral center is. 4/
So what led to this post was a tweet from somebody who was exceedingly happy about having helped a disabled person. I won’t quote-tweet bc I’m not looking to get anyone mobbed, but the basis of it was:
‘I was allowed to help this person today. It was so intensely beautiful.’ 5/
‘I was allowed to help this person today. It was so intensely beautiful.’ 5/
Not straight-up inspiration porn, but I think a lot of my followers will probably still feel like I did: instant hair standing up in the back of my neck. UGH.
Why such a visceral reaction, you, abled reader, might ask? What’s wrong with wanting to help people?
Well, nothing. 6/
Why such a visceral reaction, you, abled reader, might ask? What’s wrong with wanting to help people?
Well, nothing. 6/
See, what’s wrong isn’t at all that y’all want to help someone. And of course, we're grateful when you do.
It’s that you think it makes you Mother fucking Teresa when you do. 7/
It’s that you think it makes you Mother fucking Teresa when you do. 7/
Let me explain. At some point of your life, you, my abled reader, will be 'disabled' in some way. Meaning: you weren't able to do something the average full-grown human is able to do. 8/
Or technically, you already have been. At some point you were an infant, incapable of wiping your own ass. You had parents to do that for you. Imagine someone coming up to your mother going: ‘*gasp*, you’re wiping that child’s ass. That is so intensely beautiful.’ 9/
And your mother replies, saying ‘I know! I feel so blessed that I’m allowed to do this’.
Are you starting to feel some of the cringe yet?
What about when you're old? 10/
Are you starting to feel some of the cringe yet?
What about when you're old? 10/
What about when you struggle to figure out how to build a website, and I can't for the life of me understand why you struggle so much with something that, to me, is so simple?
Am I supposed to fawn over myself when I help you out?
No? 11/
Am I supposed to fawn over myself when I help you out?
No? 11/
Now understand that this is exactly the response that many autism parents™ get when they are taking care of autistic children. ‘Oh you’re going above and beyond, that’s so amazing, I can’t imagine going through what you go through’. 12/
Have you ever, for once, thought about how that child feels? Like a horrible burden, perhaps? Hardly worthy of being alive, perhaps? Because that’s what that feels like.
And this is not innocent. Not ‘good intentions, bad execution’. No. Literal damage-causing ableism. 13/
And this is not innocent. Not ‘good intentions, bad execution’. No. Literal damage-causing ableism. 13/
You see, this ‘above and beyond’ thinking is what lies at the basis every time an autistic child is murdered in cold blood by the parents, and people go ‘that poor mom/dad… it must’ve been so hard on them.’
You think this doesn't happen? Then you need to pay more attention. 14/
You think this doesn't happen? Then you need to pay more attention. 14/
A child gets murdered, and y ‘all are on the barricades.
A disabled child gets murdered? ‘That poor mom/dad’.
That is what that mindset achieves.
Stop. Making. Our Lives. About. You.
15/
A disabled child gets murdered? ‘That poor mom/dad’.
That is what that mindset achieves.
Stop. Making. Our Lives. About. You.
15/
You're not 'allowed' to wipe a kid's ass. You do it because you're a decent fucking person. You're not 'allowed' to help a blind person find their way.
I'm not 'allowed' to help your digitally challenged ass with your pc.
We do it because we're decent people. 16/
I'm not 'allowed' to help your digitally challenged ass with your pc.
We do it because we're decent people. 16/
Autistic kids, e.g., are seen as so much of a burden that in many western countries they are put through behavioral training that literal dog therapists have said they would not put their dogs through - just so they behave like ‘neurotypicals’. Sometimes for 40 hrs per week.17/
‘Relative to controls, people with autism alone have four times the odds of attempting suicide, more than six times the odds of a suicide attempt that results in hospitalization, and eight times the odds of dying by suicide.’ https://www.spectrumnews.org/news/autistic-women-twice-as-likely-as-autistic-men-to-attempt-suicide/ 18/
This shit doesn't end for us when we get to be adults.
Imagine how an ADULT feels when you are tooting your own horn for helping them, just because they have different needs than you.
Just imagine for a second how embarrassed you'd feel if I made a fuss about helping you.19/
Imagine how an ADULT feels when you are tooting your own horn for helping them, just because they have different needs than you.
Just imagine for a second how embarrassed you'd feel if I made a fuss about helping you.19/
Now, that person probably didn't have any bad intentions.
But guys. This is a political problem. This is a political lie. This is true capitalism: dehumanizing of anyone and everything that cannot participate in the way that the system dictates. 20/
But guys. This is a political problem. This is a political lie. This is true capitalism: dehumanizing of anyone and everything that cannot participate in the way that the system dictates. 20/
The way that the right-wing has continuously made it seem UNREASONABLE to expect that PEOPLE, HUMANS, who BY NATURE nurture and take care of each other, ACTUALLY TAKE CARE OF EACH OTHER.
That it is an act of HEROISM to CARE for someone who might need MORE THAN YOU -
21/
That it is an act of HEROISM to CARE for someone who might need MORE THAN YOU -
21/
even though you yourself will one day need more than others.
THIS IS A LIE.
LOVE IS NORMAL.
I’m getting angry. Sigh.
Okay.
Look. We don’t exist to help you feel like some kind of knight in shining armor. We don’t exist for you to feel better about yourself. 22/
THIS IS A LIE.
LOVE IS NORMAL.
I’m getting angry. Sigh.
Okay.
Look. We don’t exist to help you feel like some kind of knight in shining armor. We don’t exist for you to feel better about yourself. 22/
Stop making it impossible for us to appreciate you.
Does that mean we’re not grateful when somebody helps us? Of course we are. But there is no difference in someone holding the door open for me when I have a stack of books in my hands, and someone offering me a quiet 23/
Does that mean we’re not grateful when somebody helps us? Of course we are. But there is no difference in someone holding the door open for me when I have a stack of books in my hands, and someone offering me a quiet 23/
space when I’m overwhelmed by stimuli, or offering to make a phone call when my language center inadvertently and for no fucking reason turns off.
It. Is. Not. Different.
Your perception of us, that is what is different. 24/
It. Is. Not. Different.
Your perception of us, that is what is different. 24/
Forbes defines inspiration porn as the following:
•Sentimentality and/or pity
•An uplifting moral message, primarily aimed at non-disabled viewers
•Disabled people anonymously objectified, even when they are named.
Stop. Making. It. About. You.
The end.
•Sentimentality and/or pity
•An uplifting moral message, primarily aimed at non-disabled viewers
•Disabled people anonymously objectified, even when they are named.
Stop. Making. It. About. You.
The end.
