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I remember very vividly when I realized “that’s so gay” wasn’t okay to say. I was never a bigot. I was raised in a home where we loved everyone & that never even factored in. But like most cis teens in the 90s, we said it was “just a phrase”.
I was 10. Sitting on one of my best friend’s porches, playing with her & her dog. A few weeks earlier her mom had come out. I’d never known an out gay person. She told me a joke & w/out thinking I started to say, “that’s so ga- - -“ before I stopped. She looked at me funny.
I thought for a moment, “wait, what the hell am I saying?” It’s weird that it never really struck me until that moment. It was mean, and I’m a lot of things but mean isn’t one. I remember her eyebrows furrowing, waiting for me to finish the sentence. I froze.
“Sorry, never mind” was all I could say. She smiled & we went back to playing. We’ve never spoken of it & I never said it again. Years later my dad would officiate my sister’s wedding to her partner. I’m glad I corrected myself back then. It’s been the easiest thing to maintain.
You don’t need to be perfect. You just need to be open to accepting that you aren’t perfect & that you can always do better when it comes to your interactions with other humans. All of us. Including me.
