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tw // DEC 18 for the whole thread
its bothered me and many older shawols, so i want to address some things babywols have said that are tone deaf and disrespectful to both shawols and jonghyun. i ask that you simply listen.
its bothered me and many older shawols, so i want to address some things babywols have said that are tone deaf and disrespectful to both shawols and jonghyun. i ask that you simply listen.
TWO DISCLAIMERS:
FIRST: this is ONLY about whats been said to actual shawols or just said in general. nonshawol behavior is NOT in question here.
FIRST: this is ONLY about whats been said to actual shawols or just said in general. nonshawol behavior is NOT in question here.
SECOND: this is NOT to invalidate the grief babywols feel. we all feel grief, but its a fact that there’ll be a difference between those who experienced dec 18 vs those who didnt which is why things in this thread need to be addressed.
ONE MORE IMPORTANT NOTE:
if youre a babywol reading this thread, i wish that you dont argue with me bc you cant argue about something you dont fully understand. if youre an older shawol who’s seen things you can dm me but i may not answer quickly bc this thread is hard to make.
if youre a babywol reading this thread, i wish that you dont argue with me bc you cant argue about something you dont fully understand. if youre an older shawol who’s seen things you can dm me but i may not answer quickly bc this thread is hard to make.
TO START
1. respectshawols carrd
i admittedly thought this carrd would make it easier so i dont have to explain myself til i realized: why do i have to explain basic decency to nonshwols?why do i wanna try negotiating with someone so hopeless they dont know how to respect jjong?+
1. respectshawols carrd
i admittedly thought this carrd would make it easier so i dont have to explain myself til i realized: why do i have to explain basic decency to nonshwols?why do i wanna try negotiating with someone so hopeless they dont know how to respect jjong?+
+most of the carrd is just basic human decency, shawols dont need to tell ppl about that. and the carrd has been sent to actual shawols, mostly older shawols. do you know absolutely disrespectful that is, esp when actual shawols would never say actual bad things anyway?
that brings me to next point:
2. telling shawols we cant say we miss him
the carrd includes this. older shawols have been told not to say such things bc it “brings down the mood” or they should keep it on priv. not only is this invalidating, but its made the coping process much +
2. telling shawols we cant say we miss him
the carrd includes this. older shawols have been told not to say such things bc it “brings down the mood” or they should keep it on priv. not only is this invalidating, but its made the coping process much +
+ harder to deal with for me and other older shawols. personally, its already hard enough for me to open up about things and dec18 even harder. some of us are only just now starting to open up about our experience. do not tell me or other shawols we cant express our grief.
3. saying you understand us
i get you want to empathize but you cant understand something to its fullest extent if you didn’t experience it. just THINKING about how the day went for me sends me into a panic. idek how to explain in words how i felt. you can listen but +
i get you want to empathize but you cant understand something to its fullest extent if you didn’t experience it. just THINKING about how the day went for me sends me into a panic. idek how to explain in words how i felt. you can listen but +
+ to say you understand and feel how we feel is underestimating the situation and not truly getting how we feel.
4. jokes about jjong’s music
this is specifically abt how some babywols have made fun of shawols’ feelings abt his music. it took months for me to listen to shinee regularly again & even then i still took a break last year bc its been hard. some shawols still have trouble +
this is specifically abt how some babywols have made fun of shawols’ feelings abt his music. it took months for me to listen to shinee regularly again & even then i still took a break last year bc its been hard. some shawols still have trouble +
+ listening to jonghyun and for babywols to make jokes about it asking “what are you crying about hes horny” is so fcking tone deaf. you do not understand the trauma of it all to make JOKES out of something shawols struggle with.
5. “dont remember him like that”
we arent remembering him like that. we do remember him as the kind and genuine person. but you need to allow us to express our grief without saying we’re tainting his name.
we arent remembering him like that. we do remember him as the kind and genuine person. but you need to allow us to express our grief without saying we’re tainting his name.
overall babywols need to learn to not overstep boundaries and top speaking on things they dont quite get. its frustrating to see some of you try to dictate how shawols can even speak about him. some shawols including me had to “unstan” for a while bc the pain is just too much +
and babywols need to stop invalidating our feelings about it all.when you see an older shawol say something bothers them, or they want ppl to stop with twitter arguments or whatever, realize that this is coming from a protective POV.emotional wounds are reopened too often on here
i can add more as i think of more times that have made me or others feel like sht, but for now i’ll leave it like this. older shawols you can dm me anything if youre comfortable and i’ll add it to the thread.
one more note this is stuff ive collected not just from my own experience but from insights from other older shawols ive talked to about this
6. shinin / poet artist
a lot of shawols have trouble listening to shinin/ p|a. i dont watch the mv at all. while a lot of shawols were forcing the mv on the tl, some expressed their discomfort torward this, but were told they shouldnt be triggered by it. PLS DO NOT DO THIS
a lot of shawols have trouble listening to shinin/ p|a. i dont watch the mv at all. while a lot of shawols were forcing the mv on the tl, some expressed their discomfort torward this, but were told they shouldnt be triggered by it. PLS DO NOT DO THIS
7. ot5 edits
with new group pics coming out, we’ve seen ot5 edits a lot lately. this isnt quite insensitive bor has bad intention, but some people arent comfortable with these photoshopped pics. personally it makes me feel worse than better.
with new group pics coming out, we’ve seen ot5 edits a lot lately. this isnt quite insensitive bor has bad intention, but some people arent comfortable with these photoshopped pics. personally it makes me feel worse than better.
8. twt arguments
we as shawols dont have the ~luxury~ of getting into fandom drama. lately a lot of shawols have been complaining abt this but it makes no sense. are you so bored that a fandom war is worth the things nonshawols can and will say? +
we as shawols dont have the ~luxury~ of getting into fandom drama. lately a lot of shawols have been complaining abt this but it makes no sense. are you so bored that a fandom war is worth the things nonshawols can and will say? +
+ is simply posting about shinee and minding your business too much to ask? its not our fault about what has been said but the least we can do is just avoid petty arguments altogether. protect both ourselves and shinee.
this one is being misunderstood so let me explain what the person who told me about this meanf:
they were referring to a time when their tl would post about the shinin mv saying “did you bitchina bitchina today”. posting about p|a isn’t inherently bad, + https://twitter.com/kjhwol/status/1336443989822586880
they were referring to a time when their tl would post about the shinin mv saying “did you bitchina bitchina today”. posting about p|a isn’t inherently bad, + https://twitter.com/kjhwol/status/1336443989822586880
i am talking about specifically the reaction to shawols complained about it. by “forcing” i was referring to the spamming of the mv that the dmer saw that bothered them, but the focus is on the reaction
