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Welcome to #TransTuesday! Today’s topic is a twofer, because due to world news it relates to something else topical. We’re talking about TRANS KIDS and THE INTAKE EXAM.
Early caveat: I didn’t know I was transgender as a kid, even though the signs were all there. So I never got to experience what that’s like, and cannot speak from personal experience. But I do know what it feels like to be a kid and be trans, if that makes sense.
Another early caveat: the intake exam may be called different things and be wildly different depending on the medical system, or part of the country/world a trans person is in. Please do not take my experience or thoughts as though it’s identical for every trans person.
I also want to point out that this isn’t at all what I planned to talk about today. Again. World events feel like they’ve forced my hand, which if you’re following along makes this the third time that’s happened in 21 #TransTuesday posts.
If this surprises you, it’s because trans people and our rights are constantly under attack. I sometimes forget that a lot of cis people probably aren’t really noticing all the trans news the way I do, so I feel it’s important to bring it to your attention.
If you’re unclear how trans kids are involved in the news presently, please take a minute to read this article about what just happened to them in the UK: https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-cambridgeshire-55144148
I feel like I don’t even know where to start with this. It’s horrific, and if you don’t understand why… let’s start with a refresher on gender dysphoria, and realize first that every trans kid is going through this, and many have it worse than I do. https://twitter.com/TillyBridges/status/1283104571649191936
So what happens when a kid of any age realizes they’re transgender and wants to transition? It’s obviously a very big decision, and it can be difficult for kids (especially the younger ones) to fully grasp everything that entails and the way life would change.
But you see, medical professionals… know that. They don’t take a trans kid and send them off for surgery. Transitioning for kids largely involves social transitioning only… wearing clothing that reflects their true gender, name/pronoun changes, things of that nature.
Hormone Replacement Therapy is a big part of transitioning for a lot of trans people. I’ve still not talked much about it because, while I am on HRT, I still want to wait a while longer so I can give you a better picture.
But broadly it involves blocking the hormone that causes characteristics associated with one gender, and introducing a hormone that causes characteristics associated with another. Even here, I can hear you saying… kids can’t make that decision!
Did you know the ONLY thing kids are given are the blockers? And they have to reach a certain age (early teens I think, but may vary based on where you are) before they can even begin taking blockers, let alone hormones that will help affirm their gender.
So what does that entail? Let’s look at my case, as a trans woman. If I’d known I was trans, and had access to testosterone blockers BEFORE I hit puberty, the blockers would have STOPPED PUBERTY. Temporarily!
If you stop taking the blockers, your body goes RIGHT back to making the hormone they were blocking and you go through puberty in ways associated with that hormone. This is why in kids they’re sometimes just referred to as “puberty blockers.”
They are safe, they’ve been used for a very long time, and there are no long-term effects. So why not just let the kids wait to take it until they’re 18? Yeah, let’s talk about that.
At 18 you’ve already gone through much of puberty. For me, guess what that meant? My shoulders broadened. My voice deepened. My jawline became more pronounced. I got a lot taller. I developed a lot of body hair.
I mean you’re all familiar with what testosterone does to a body during puberty, you get the drift. If I’d had access to puberty blockers before that happened… think about all the dysphoria I have that could have been avoided.
Remember my post all about how photos are a problem? https://twitter.com/TillyBridges/status/1285636685892587520
Or the one about body hair? https://twitter.com/TillyBridges/status/1316083400940220416
Forcing a trans kid to go through a puberty that antithetical to their gender identity is cruel. It’s torture. It’s forcing their body to change in ways that will make it MORE difficult for them to transition in the future, and will dramatically worsen their dysphoria.
And again, dysphoria often comes with intense depression and anxiety and a lot of other mental health issues, including self-harm and sometimes people feeling like suicide is their only way out.
So now imagine these kids, already on puberty blockers, socially transitioned. A 14 year old Tilly would have had no facial hair, been shorter, had narrower shoulders, a higher voice.
She’d be dressing as a girl, and being treated as one BECAUSE SHE WOULD *BE* A GIRL in the eyes of everyone. And suddenly, without any warning or recourse, you take her puberty blockers away “for her own good”.
And suddenly this 14 year old girl gets facial hair and a deep voice and her jaw and shoulders widen and what the FUCK do you think that is going to do to her? How is that helping her?? You’re turning her into the last thing she wants to be.
It’s fucking unconscionable. Especially given that if she discovers she’s not actually trans, she can stop the puberty blockers and experience male puberty without any issues whatsoever! This is so fucking ludicrous I can’t even believe it.
And here’s where we get into the INTAKE EXAM, because I think this is what most cis folks have literally no idea about. I want to stress I’ve had nothing but good experiences so far with all my doctors, and YET I am still of two minds about this.
The first thing that happened when I told my doctor I was transgender and wanted to transition was her referring me to a psychologist. Not because she thought being transgender is a mental illness, but because it’s policy.
A large part of the reason is so much mental illness often accompanies gender dysphoria, so of course they want to check for that and be sure you get whatever help you may need on that front. Which is good and I absolutely understand and appreciate.
But… they also want to “make sure” you’re trans (my words there, not theirs). They wouldn’t even CONSIDER referring me to an endocrinologist to begin HRT until I had my intake exam with the psychologist.
And this psychologist is a specialist in gender and transitioning. She’s my go-to for any other referrals I need for other services related to transitioning. Voice therapy, laser/electrolysis hair removal, and even gender confirmation surgeries.
So how did this very kind and nice lady determine I was trans? We had a very long phone call (because covid), and she had a billion questions to ask me.
And. I. Had. To. Justify. My. Existence. As. A. Woman.
I want you to please sit with that a moment. Have you ever had to convince someone you’re a man or a woman? How would you do that? HOW?
I had to dig up every memory I could find, in the course of my years of self-examination, where looking back now I can see they were signs of my dysphoria, of my longing to be a girl or woman. I had to prove to a total stranger that I AM WHO I SAY I AM.
Does that scare you? It should. It fucking scared me. Because what if I didn’t say the right thing? What if because my dysphoria revolves mostly around my face and my body hair, and not my genitals, she decided I wasn’t “trans enough” to transition?
It’s just terrifying, and awful. It’s a nightmare. And I get why it’s important, but it’s also just absolutely horrible to go through. I don’t know how to tell you what it’s like. I can’t find the words for it.
Which is probably why I was going to leave discussing the intake exam for later, until I could better suss it out. BUT THE WORLD WOULDN’T LET ME.
Because what you have to understand is all of those kids who want puberty blockers, all of those kids already on puberty blockers… they all go through varying versions of this.
And a doctor, a psychologist trained in gender and transitioning, has listened to them and made the medical determination that it’s in the patient’s best interest to be on those puberty blockers. Especially given, AGAIN, they make no permanent changes to the body!
So what right does any government have to interfere in a matter between patients and their doctors? If you’re seeing stark parallels between trans folks and their transition care, and cis women/trans men and their right to choice… yeah, weird huh? Maybe think about why that is.
Every trans kid has ALREADY done more self-examination than I’d bet a whole lot of cis adults do in their entire lives. And I’m so thankful some of them have safe home environments in which to do that, but I know also that many do not.
And don’t give me bullshit about supportive environments, or being exposed to the very idea/existence of trans people, as being “brainwashing” or whatever the fuck you want to call it. Hey cis folks, how much trans acceptance would make YOU suddenly not feel like a man or woman?
Is it zero? Of course it’s fucking zero. It’s not something you decide, it’s something you ARE. No amount of exposure is going to make you cis people suddenly trans, just as no amount of exposure to cis people is going to suddenly make trans people cisgender.
It doesn’t fucking work that way, and you know it. You never decided you were cis, you never decided you were straight or gay. Discover, sure! Decide? No. These aren’t choices! They’re facts of existence.
Remember my post on Acceptance? Goes double for trans kids. Triple. Infinite quadruple (I’m making that a thing, everybody start saying it to back me up). https://twitter.com/TillyBridges/status/1288174819129741312
This got a bit heavy, but I guess that’s to be expected. Let’s end it on an up note. Please read this, from the parent of a trans child, about what it’s like for them… and what a difference acceptance makes. https://michellerothbaade.medium.com/three-things-i-wish-everyone-knew-about-having-a-transgender-child-b5b32c0c47c4
SUPPORT TRANS KIDS. They need us. They need YOU.
Tilly Bridges, end transmission.
Tilly Bridges, end transmission.
