I’ve been dedicating a lot of my free time towards connecting with people who are the targets of online harassment.

Some thoughts.

There are stages of online harassment. Informally:

It’s not so bad.
Ok, this is getting bad.
This is alarmingly bad.
Holy **** I can’t make it stop.
Mixed emotions.
Second and third waves of harassment.
PTSD-like symptoms.

Even the “mild” cases follow this pattern loosely.

People at most of the stages feel an overwhelming loss of control. They feel helpless and lost.

If they are in the early stages, I focus on personal safety first then offer them different options on how to proceed.

I’ll elaborate.

Personal safety involves a combo of Google searches. We need to assess what info is publicly available.

Google the important info:

Name
Phone number
Address
Name + address
Phone number + address
Family members

Folks, your safety is important. Do this NOW before the harassment.

I’ll do my own searches on social media while the target works on the other ones. I look for active conversations and ones that release private exchanges or personal information.

Knowing what’s out there helps me develop options for the target.

When you’re the victim of active online harassment, you can’t think straight. That’s why it’s important for someone to to provide options and advice on how to proceed.

“This is what we know.”
“These are some options.”

Give the target control. Let them decide on how to proceed.

Sometimes people want to “explain their side.”

I’m always willing to listen to a target’s perspective.

When every word you say is wrong and trying to defend yourself fuels further scrutiny, it’s helps to have someone willing to listen without attacking.

Trust is important.

I try to not be judgmental because I’ve been on the receiving end of harassment. There’s a time for self-reflection. Unlike the mob, I don’t feel anyone owes me an explanation.

Being anti-online harassment means I’m against bullying. It doesn’t mean I agree w/ every opinion.

There’s a pattern. It’s almost always the same, too.

Victims of online harassment never fully recover. When they are harassed from their in-group, it changes their worldview. They become jaded. I’m jaded.

Most people self-censor once they’ve been attacked. Some leave Twitter because it isn’t worth the risk.

When a new target is identified, I receive DMs from old victims who recognize the irrational behavior of a mob.

Earlier today some messaged - “even a Like feels risky now.”

Lately I feel like a coward. A couple of people are repeatedly attacked, but I’m unable to defend them because it’ll cause too much trouble for me.

Quite frankly their ongoing punishment doesn’t fit the crime.

Sadly, it’s mostly a few women who express outrage for a minor infraction. They are the designated leaders of the mob.

Unfortunately no one in the mob thinks for themselves. They cling to a few opinions that have been shared. They adopt the outrage of said mob leaders.

This is dangerous.

Heading to bed. More tomorrow...maybe.

This is dangerous because you don’t really understand the implications of excommunicating someone.

Bystandards look on in disbelief. All it takes is one mistake and a person is shunned? Incredible.

It’s especially hurtful to a target who has interacted publicly and privately with members of the mob.

I’m thinking about one person in particular who has a long history of sharing tacit knowledge that she’s developed during her career.

It’s hard to watch people warp her words.

The mob loves the collective feeling of outrage. A victim who is a target for ongoing online harassment is never safe to fully articulate their opinions.

Even when a target takes care in crafting tweets, the mob is on the ready. They spring into action when there’s an opportunity to attack.

It’s a blood sport. Divide & conquer. While some attack the recent infringement, others resurface history. Screenshots serve as evidence.

See, an old issue is never really forgiven when the mob picks someone to harass long-term.

New issues attract new audiences, so persistent online harassers present their screenshots of prior offenses. Anger, outrage and hysteria ensue.

In a world full of uncertainty and chaos, people feel a sense of control when they can direct their rage to a specific person who represents all that is wrong in society.

When the mob came for me, I felt a sense of disbelief. I tried to explain. It made things worse, so I lashed out. Big mistake.

While all of this was happening, I lost my identity and worldview. I used to describe myself as a “bleeding heart liberal.” I’m not that person anymore.

My specific story doesn’t matter. What matters is that so many other people are going through a similar process because of their own experiences with online harassment.

Members of the mob are unwilling to listen to the perspective of victims of online harassment.

The target has been identified. That’s all that matters.

Evil must be rooted out at all cost.

If you’ve never personally experienced in-group online harassment, all of this probably sounds crazy/extreme. That’s ok.

There’s a reason why I interact with other rejects. We’ve been cast aside, so we’ve formed our own in-group. It isn’t exclusive. All are welcome to join.

The biggest difference between the rejects & members of the mob is that the individual is valued over the collective opinion.

Folks, the mob is irrational. It’s fueled by emotion instead of facts.

Take a step back. Stop eating each other alive. Pretty soon no one will be left.