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hi! i’ve never done this before but i’m going to share my favorite pieces i wrote in 2020 because i need to remind myself that i used my brain at least 4 times this year! thread:
for ELLE, i wikipedia'd the definition of "heterosexuality" and conducted rigorous interviews with women i know who are attracted to men, all in the name of answering one urgent question: why do women love Adam Driver? https://www.elle.com/culture/movies-tv/a30812361/adam-driver-sex-appeal-marriage-story-star-wars/
for Bustle, i wrote about 'portrait of a lady on fire,' which contains both lesbian glances and vaguely european rock structures: two absolutely necessary components of sapphic cinema https://www.bustle.com/p/portrait-of-a-lady-on-fire-is-the-best-movie-about-lesbian-yearning-since-carol-21806497
back when we thought quarantine would be a cute lil 2 weeks, i demanded everyone get themselves a lesbian to survive the apocalypse with (we'll pull up with a hybrid-truckload of book recommendations and we inexplicably own candelabras) https://www.bustle.com/p/quarantine-pro-tip-get-yourself-a-lesbian-22631944
in april, i wrote about how fucking awful i was at cooking and how much i loathed the ~first wave~ of cooking instagram stories. 6 months later, i roasted a whole chicken by myself. i'm more proud of myself for THAT than anything else i did in 2020. https://www.vanityfair.com/style/2020/04/coronavirus-quarantine-cooking
for @vulture, i went absolutely feral and suggested swifties sleep inside a bear carcass and stream 'nell' to properly prepare for the folklore release. was i wrong? (no) https://www.vulture.com/2020/07/taylor-swift-folklore-woods-memes.html
for @vulture again, i analyzed every song on folklore—taylor swift's trojan horse of emotional terrorism— and discussed the cultural importance of a lower-case girl album https://www.vulture.com/2020/07/taylor-swift-every-folklore-song-explained.html
for Decider, @unclegrambo let me compare each of kate winslet's love interests to sandwiches. that's it, that's the tweet https://decider.com/2020/08/28/kate-winslet-movie-love-interests-as-sandwiches/
for my pal @_sleach at @bustle, i ranked the most emo MGK lyrics by how badly they make me want to smoke a cigarette in front of the mall (tldr: BADLY) https://www.bustle.com/entertainment/machine-gun-kelly-tickets-to-my-downfall-lyrics-ranked
for @glamourmag, the truest treasure @annamoeslein let me write about horny rock lesbians!! no thoughts, head empty, just the 'ammonite' face-sit https://www.glamour.com/story/ammonite-lesbian-sex-scene
and finally, for @bustle, i wrote about 'happiest season's' local gay hottie Riley, who deserves a horny jewish SEQUEL!! https://www.bustle.com/entertainment/riley-abby-are-the-true-soulmates-of-happiest-season-hulu
thank you to everyone who read even one dumb word i wrote this year. writing about horny lesbian shit has kept me afloat both financially & mentally in 2020 & i'm so grateful to anyone who cared. and to the 14-year-old stans who called me brain dead & "40 years old" — thank...you
