i'm not sure the exact right way to put this, but i think this fandom is highly skilled at finding ways to support BTS despite extreme ambivalence toward things like charts and awards shows. the cognitive dissonance can be overwhelming, on one hand celebrating 1/

industry achievements proudly and at the same time recognizing that those metrics are flawed. celebrating a grammy nomination or hot 100 no. 1 while disdaining the politics/methodology/biases that govern which artists receive recognition. 2/

but i don't think i would have seen BTS performing on SNL if it hadn't been for the cumulative efforts of fans who came before and figured out how to make the industry pay attention. i'm sure they would have rather just enjoyed the music but they put a lot of work in. 3/

i'm sure some people look at all this work and organization on the part of fans and see it as somehow manipulative or inauthentic, but i think things like streaming parties and buying projects are the *definition of organic.* 4/

these are all things i would not have expected myself to feel or say even a few years ago when i had more rigid ideas about artistry and authenticity and stuff. i still kind of do. i have no love for charts. most other music i like is not especially popular or commercial.

it does not feel natural to me to stream in a certain way or to await billboard news or look at chart projections, but that's bc how the industry works is inherently unnatural and constructed by the financial interests of a few and weighted toward certain kinds of artists.

i've always loved DIY or independent artists who do things like charge $5 for concert tickets and don't sell merch and never tweet and dgaf about their image and have no brand ambassadorships. so i am new to thinking about a lot of this stuff in this broader, systematic way.

anyway thanks for coming to my ted talk!!!