When you confront somebody over something they did wrong and they:

1) fly into a rage
2) gaslight you
3) stonewall you or
4) walk out on you

Cut them off permanently.

1) they fly into a rage so they don’t have to address what they did or take accountability. They throw a fit so the attention is off their wrongdoing and now the focus is on calming them down. You won’t even have the energy to bring up the issue again later or you’ll be afraid to

2) They gaslight you (lie and twists facts to make you question your own sanity). You see something with your own two eyes and they’ll literally convince you that it didn’t happen. This not only prevents them from taking accountability in the current moment-

-but it also prevents them for taking accountability for future wrongdoings because now you don’t trust your own judgement and it’s easier for them to lie to you

3) they stonewall you (completely shut down and refuse to say a word). When someone you love does something hurtful, it’s natural to want an apology and reassurance that they care. Stonewalling does the opposite. Not only do they not take accountability, but they also-

-are sending the message that your pain doesn’t matter and you’re extremely insignificant to them. It’s them abandoning you without ever leaving the room

Stonewalling is so painful that it can train you to never confront them about anything they do wrong in the future because you don’t want to face that feeling of inadequacy and emotional abandonment from them

4) Walking out on you (similar to stonewalling accept they not only emotionally remove themselves but also physically remove themselves). Another way to avoid taking responsibility/accountability for what they’ve done. They leave you alone to deal with your feelings-

-and send a clear message that “you’re on your own and this isn’t my problem” even though they’re the ones who caused the pain. This usually comes with the silent treatment as well because they most likely won’t be answering any phone calls nor texts if they walked out on you

If you see any of these patterns in someone, you can point it out to them ONCE and see if they start doing the immediate work to change. If not, cut them off immediately. Your mental health will suffer if you don’t