"How Gilmore Girls characters would respond to the pandemic" (a thread)

Lorelai - makes her own masks from old concert T-shirts, has re-watched every movie made before 1950, uses Covid as an excuse to get out of Friday Night Dinners, but then has to Zoom into them
Rory - (Seasons 1-4) wears a mask everywhere - to sleep, shower, between bites of food. (Seasons 5-7) goes to a Covid superspreader party with Logan
Kirk - wears full Hazmat suit, goes door to door selling homemade vaccine
Paris - in total lockdown. Constantly administering painful Covid tests to Doyle, shoving the swabs up his nose. Doyle: “I think you just hit my brain.” Paris: "Don't flatter yourself, your brain's not that big."
Miss Patty - wears a plastic face shield, because "Honey, I can't cover up half of my face! It's only got a few good years left!"
Richard & Emily - Emily thinks it's a hoax, still planning to travel to Europe, keeps coughing but insists it's allergies. Richard def has a Covid scare, which causes Emily to have a change of heart.
Luke - delivers food to Lorelai and Rory every day; wears a plain black mask until Lorelai gives him a colorful one she made, then wears that every day, even after the pandemic is over
Taylor - finds a way to classify his soda shoppe as an essential business, but makes all his competitors shut down. ("Luke, in times like these, people need a smile... a smile that only shaved ice and pennycandy can provide!")
Sookie - can't stop making food in quarantine. Jackson complains that he's gained 20 pounds; he starts sneaking all her food around town to people's doorsteps. Also has 5 more children.
Michel - constantly sanitizing every surface at the inn, cleans a Purell bottle with Lysol wipe, has no patience for anti-maskers: "Do us all a favor and cover your face... or at least get adult braces."
Babette - wears a mask because her cat Apricot is immunocompromised, but tells Lorelai, "I think we should say 'To hell with it,' throw a big party. Music, dancing. Go out in style. Like on the Titanic!"
Lane - starts arguing with Zack, who is anti-masker. Reconnects with Dave Rygalski, they start sending hand-written letters to each other. Writes a bunch of new love songs, which Zack can tell are about someone else.
Mrs. Kim - follows people around her shop, and if they so much as graze an antique rocking chair, shouts, "You touch it, you buy it!"
Christopher - uses pandemic as an excuse to reach out to Lorelai. Texts her, “Hey Lor, just wanted to check in.” This text pops up on her phone while Lorelai is showing Luke a YouTube video of those twins reacting to Phil Collins.
Logan - retreats to his house in Westport, which he calls "The Bunker," along with Finn and Colin. Invites Rory to "come join our bubble, Ace." When she gets there, there's 150 drunk people partying without masks.
Dean - has 8 different essential worker jobs. Reaches out to Rory to have a socially distant hang. Says, “I remember you telling me about pandemics and stuff. You’re so smart.”
Jess - definitely uses a bandanna as a mask. Drives across country and writes the great American novel. Quarantines with his surfer dad in Venice Beach for one day, then drives back to Stars Hollow.
April - when Luke’s Diner has to close, she sets up a website for online orders and delivery; also possibly cures Covid
T.J. - has gotten Covid 3 times. Luke: "How is that even possible?" T.J: "I dunno! Guess I’m like the Invincible Man!” Luke: “Uh huh.” T.J: “Oh, I've also lost all sense of taste - but between you and me, with your sister’s cooking, it’s a blessing”
Town Troubadour - the only musician in the world whose life is not impacted at all by Covid. Just keeps singing outdoors by himself.
Guess you could say I've been preaching the Gilmore Girls gospel for a while now... https://twitter.com/catheb/status/802346278734721024
You can follow @mikedicenzo.
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