Remember how Takasugi had hallucinations of Shoyo during his fight VS Gintoki ?
And asked him if he came to hit him to stop him in his stupid plans
I love this scene because it shows that Takasugi is well aware that he is doing something that hurt himself and is totally opposed-
-to his teacher's beliefs. In a certain way, it feels like he wants to be stopped, all he asks for is his beloved teacher to come and beat him up because he would feel cared about, he would feel happy, he would feel alive.
He still lives in the past
Imagine the amount of hallucinations he may have had since the war ? How Shoyo may have been the one to calm him down after his nightmares even tho he is now gone
Gintoki telling him "he is gone, the only one who can stop us now is ourselves" took him back to this painful reality
He lives in the past and wants to go back to the past "i haven't forgotten anything, my destroyed eye his still remember of the dreams, the aspirations, the bond, and the hatred"
His eye being the physical scar of a long-lost past and a symbolism of the effects of war
Of how the war took everything away from him and this eye of his is stuck on what he lost since he can't see what's ahead & only remember the good old days being stained by his last vision: Gintoki's crying face
He sees him stand up, fight & can't understand it
Left eye/right eye
He has an inside/outside of Gintoki's feelings, he knows how he feels more than anyone since he sees his suffering
The only thing that makes him move forward is the will to destroy what is staining the memory of his peaceful past: Gintoki's suffering so he wants to kill him to-
1/ hurt himself and get what he thinks he deserves: more guilt, more pain
2/ end Gintoki's suffering because he knows how much he hides it, how he still struggles, he SEES it
3/ yeah im crying
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