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So what we have learned recently is that Denver scene wants survivors to publicly post and relive their trauma so that maybe some people will believe them and react accordingly... you'd think the denver scene with so many people in it could of handled a single situation...
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with any kind of like, process or as a community that maybe didnt exist only on twitter and 18 secure messaging apps.. shit idk... maybe when at the very fucking start of this stupid year a well known organizer was revealed as a violent rapist with over a dozen victims....
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then not even that long after that, a grooming sexpest grifter was outted but hey, all the survivors werent willing to relive their abuse all over social media so I guess it was just a big giant lie or something and doesnt matter to anyone anymore
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like in a lot of these situations, the information really cant be shared publicly... its self incriminating at minimum and just shitty to ask of a survivor. Maybe its just me but I believe survivors without hesitation, and when someone points out a problematic person...
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I am compelled to act until I know if that person is safe or not, and safety in this community is fucking paramount. Its not a fucking joke, we are literally enemies to people with more numbers and power and ability to hurt than us...
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If we can't get our shit together to protect the most marginalized and hurting in the community ... then maybe we shouldnt be doing this work at all... I mean how can you go out doing mutual aid work and promise people youll help and be there...
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but the next week the entire mutual aid group is collapsed because no one paid attention to the BROKEN FUCKING STAIR and now there are survivors that have to take extended breaks to just barely recover enough to be compelled to continue the work they were doing...
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One of the most important parts of this fight and this work is community... That includes accountability, RJ/TJ systems in place, survivors support networks, and on and on ... but hey plenty of groups got shield wall training done, lots of physical training, theory reading...
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plenty of parties and good times and drinking and just every fucking thing but community building for the future we want .. got lots of recycled american behaviors, lots of misogyny, excused racism, toxic masculinity run rampant, rape, physical abuse, grifting, and just FUCK
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I don't know what the answers are, I don't know why denver cant work even slightly well unlike so many other cities and even cities in the same fucking state... has anyone wondered this? Did anyone look into this and just not share it?
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my comrades and I have spent waaaaay too much time being dragged into Denver bullshit because they couldnt do it themselves, and the only reason we feel the need to is because this fight is about all of us, an attack on one is an attack on all...
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That we could have triple the numbers we currently do if we could even begin to know what safe organizing spaces looks like... security for our most at risk...and justice for those that seek it... I am tired of telling survivors I can't help, or that I can't make people see
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the pain an individual causes with their behaviors and actions... but fine. Denver... I handed off my last collab with yall. I got my own city to work with and build.
Denver, I implore you to spend this winter building a culture of activism and mutual aid that is better
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Denver, I implore you to spend this winter building a culture of activism and mutual aid that is better
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is safer, has the ability to listen and react to what is heard.... but I wont be rallying people to your causes anymore, especially not my marginalized comrades because there is no way for me to reassure them its at all safe ...
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or that anyone there is gonna have their back when needed... because it might mess up the precarious social hierarchy of the scene... or whatever... its not safe... its not secure... and its ripe with rotten people and abusers that get to run rampant.
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Burnout is real, and yall dont even know the half of it ... its ok though... been at this for years and years and wont be stopping now, most of us can't stop after doing this for so long... I imagine many people that showed up this year did a thing and went home...
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thats fine, some people get a taste of this life and don't find it palatable, its better if those people stayed home for reasons of safety. Some people are seeing this as an exciting lifestyle choice, a way to be and do nothing and yet flourish in all their vices
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Some people see this is a space they can just be and not work on their issues and mental health and drag others down into despair with them, and then some people get it really wrong... and they are here in these communities earning credit back for their wrongs in life
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to make up for what they have done and to be able to point to their recent works and go "look im a good person now" but your actions dont fully define who you are and some things just can't be paid off that way. This isnt the space for your yt guilt reparations
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I don't know what else to say at this point... but I am disappointed ... I am hurt... I have been violated in more ways than I even knew possible this year... I have seen and been the recipient of more abuse this year than any before it... I can't be nice anymore....
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I don't think anything short of abusers heads on pikes is gonna suffice going forward... I want the most oppressed and marginalized to feel empowered... powerful... safe... secure in being loving caring people... I want to nurture and grow the better world I know we can have
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I would personally like to apologize for not being there for all of you, for not being able to listen and hear what you had to say, that I wasnt strong enough to do what needed to be done to end long time abusers and rapists from doing it to anyone else...
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Sorry I failed so many of you, that I brought news of more pain than joy... that I just didnt do enough to support all of you. I have failed time and time again to do things right... I wont do that anymore, I promise you, when you want me to end a cycle of abuse, I fucking will.
