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I agree with Tema that how we look at it as Jewish leaders is important.
So, in addition to my satire earlier, a few practical tips, because Monday is my day off and this piece (and the discourse around it) are still really getting to me.
A thread. https://twitter.com/temasmith/status/1335957638899765250
So, in addition to my satire earlier, a few practical tips, because Monday is my day off and this piece (and the discourse around it) are still really getting to me.
A thread. https://twitter.com/temasmith/status/1335957638899765250
1) It is sad that people born to families with Jewish ties sometimes opt out of Jewish continuity. It's important to acknowledge that loss. While many interfaith fams *are* opting into Jewish life, others choose not to.
AND-- fams made up entirely of Jews opt out too. (1/)
AND-- fams made up entirely of Jews opt out too. (1/)
Many people looking at this piece will say that this is the result of intermarriage. But it's not just the author born of a Jewish-Christian who had a liminal connection to religious practice. It's her parents who chose not to pass on their religions but rather become UU. (2/)
The UUs are awesome. That's not the point. Point is that there wasn't something compelling enough in Jewish practice to keep this family engaged. Maybe if the dad had married someone Jewish he would have forced his tradition along. But maybe not. We don't know. (3/)
Generally, when a family opts out of religion, it's because it no longer holds resonance, either because traditions feel hollow or community isn't welcoming (more on the latter in a minute).
Jews don't marry non-Jews and get swept into secularism. They're already there. (4/)
Jews don't marry non-Jews and get swept into secularism. They're already there. (4/)
And Jews who marry non-Jews aren't necessarily secular at all. It may be that they just fall in love with someone spiritually compatible who isn't Jewish. And they keep doing Jewish. And they pass Judaism to their kids if they have them. And it's all good. (5/)
My point is that conflating interfaith marriage with loss of Jewish continuity ignores factors that lead Jews not to care whether or not their family is made up entirely of Jews. Jews who marry non-Jews, and don't care about passing on Judaism, didn't before marriage either. (6/)
Jews who marry non-Jews, and do care about passing on Judaism, also did before marriage. So yes, statistically, Jews who marry folks who aren't Jewish are less likely to pass Judaism on to their kids. I just think we've got the causation wrong.
This leads to point 2. (7/)
This leads to point 2. (7/)
(At this point I recognize this should have been an essay, not a thread, but too late)
2) Progressive American Jewish education sucks. And it sucked even more for our parents.
Sorry. It's getting better. I think. But for a couple generations there was a major lapse. (8/)
2) Progressive American Jewish education sucks. And it sucked even more for our parents.
Sorry. It's getting better. I think. But for a couple generations there was a major lapse. (8/)
Kids either grew up learning the words without really getting the meaning, or they grew up with largely secularized, kindergarten-level holiday celebrations and storytelling. In other words, Jewish ed didn't mature with the kids and of course observance felt weird. (9/)
Imagine being a 40 year old whose only grasp of Hanukkah is that oil lasted 8 nights--not understanding any of the Maccabean nuance-- and looking at your kid and knowing they're already too smart but not having context for them. You're embarrassed and so are they. (10/)
