This is turning into the garden of forking threads but it is a dynamic that pervades our culture, and there's another aspect I want to get into: the people haha I mean the men who think the way they deal with servers shows how discerning/authoritative they are. Don't be that guy. https://twitter.com/m_older/status/1334649684112138241

It's tied into that horrible aspiration to unrealistic perceptions of upper-classness (I can't call it "nobility" fuck that), the idea that it's somehow a virtue or a demonstration of character to be able to manage servers. It's just another pretentious abuse of power.

These are the people haha men & very few women who harangue servers for tiny mistakes to "show they won't be taken advantage of", who send the steak back, who claim to *know* whether the drink is top-rail or not. What they really know is that the server can't fight back.