chris evans characters as different types of eggs: a thread

andy barber (defending jacob)
scrambled eggs

fluffy (just look at that hair). the one everybody loves. without them, the family (breakfast) would fall apart

curtis everett (snowpiercer)
egg salad

smells a bit funky but is a strong leader

ransom drysdale (knives out)
hard boiled egg

has their shit together. knows what they want and how to get it. do not cross them

nick vaughn (before we go)
sunny side up eggs

human embodiment of sunshine. never a dull day (or night) with them around

colin shea (what’s your number)
scotch egg

fun, exciting and seriously packing some meat

mike weiss (puncture)
over easy eggs

tries to stay strong but is very fragile. will break at any time. just really needs a hug

kyle (the perfect score)
poached eggs

cute, dependable and an eggcellent safe choice. probably popular with mothers

frank adler (gifted)
soft boiled egg

looks tough on the outside but soft on the inside. so protective of their inner circle and would do anything for them

ryan (cellular)
devilled eggs

life of the party. always at the centre of attention and rightfully so

johnny storm (fantastic four)
shakshouka

hot. literally. he’s on fire

lucas lee (scott pilgrim vs the world)
vegan “egg”

can you even use the word egg here? is it a really an egg? is it even really lucas lee or one of his many stunt doubles?

steve rogers (marvel cinematic universe)
quiche

more to him than meets the eye. has so many layers to unpack. physically big too (must eggs-ercise a lot)

syd (london)
cracked egg

you know when you accidentally get shell into the egg and it’s a pain in the ass to try and remove? that’s the vibe syd gives off

bryce (fierce people)
fermented egg

nasty!!!!!!! stay away from me!!!!!!!!

me (playing it cool)
uncooked egg

a blank canvas with so much potential. kind of sits on their ass a lot of the day though

jake jensen (the losers)
pesto eggs

a bit dorky and strange but eggceptionally loveable

mr freezy (the iceman)
ostrich egg

intimidating and honestly I’m terri-fried to go anywhere near it

jimmy dobyne (the loss of a teardrop diamond)
shirred eggs

traditional. wants to be bougie and fancy but is really just baked eggs

paul diskant (street kings)
egg drop soup

whispy and beaten. because he’s dead

harvard hottie (the nanny diaries)
frittata

literally the full package. an eggsquisite person

james mace (sunshine)
egg white omelette

has a dry personality. very level headed and calm under pressure. methodical. deserves better

nick gant (push)
eggs benedict

kind of hidden away from everybody. takes a bit to show real self

jake wyler
chocolate easter eggs

popular and well liked with his classmates. thinks he’s mature but he’s not. doesn’t really have a clue about the real world. go do the dishes

bonus:
chris evans as fertilised eggs because just looking at him is enough to get anyone pregnant

this thread is my official cry for help I’ve lost my mind someone please save me