All right. Let's take a moment to talk about crafting sex scenes.

I've seen more than a few of you talk about how you hate having to craft them.

I'm going to give you a cheat--focus on the emotions.

Yes, sex scenes are very much about the physical actions. It would be a lie to say they're not.

And that's hard, no pun intended.

You've probably read hundreds. After a while it all seems like limbs brushing, genitals pounding. How many ways can you write the same thing?

Sex scenes are special in that there's no artifice in the fact they are both literal and metaphorical scenes. (If done right.)

That's why there is a decided difference in a romance and an erotic romance.

In a romance, you can plot out the character's arc.

In some scenes that arc will...arc or progress in a sex scene.

An erotic romance will have those arcs mostly in the sex scenes.

So understanding that distinction should make it easier to understand crafting sex is focusing on emotion.

So, you have to write a dreaded sex scene. Instead of thinking, OMG where are the hands? That finger is doing what? Wall or bed?

Think about...what emotion are the characters feeling?

Go beyond the obvious of horny. Are they nervous? Are they determined to have a certain kind of experience? Is it thoughtlessly physical? And can it become emotionally grounded in some way?

Yes, their sex bits are throbbing, but what are they feeling?

Does that feeling change during the scene?

And here's a neat trick, emotions can be felt, expressed, seen in a physical way.

There is a difference when you talk to someone and their arms are crossed vs. their arms are down at their sides. Or even, their hands are animated as you talk to them.

And this is where it can get really fun. Because sometimes a character may look standoffish physically but it's when they are their most open.

Kind of like you can say what you really feel if you're not looking a person in their face.

Or...you do and oooh boy. How is that?!

I'm not going to say you will now pound out (ha) sex scenes with no problem.

But you may be able to feel less dread if you're focused on the emotions.

You can always revise in where a mouth went.

But that mouth could be anyones. Why is it that mouth? Why is it that space of skin? How will they feel during and after the experience because that's where the good and crunching stuff happens.

If you appreciate this thread, you can buy me ko-fi: http://www.ko-fi.com/melissab 

Or you can check out my books where there's a lot of sex: http://www.themelissablue.com