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What stood out as my deepest pain this year has become the highlight of my biggest success this year.
Upon graduating top of the 2018 Law Class at UniIbadan, I definitely had high hopes for Law School and I was not exaggerating my competence. I had consistently proven to myself https://twitter.com/nenyenwarueze/status/1335300183807172610
Upon graduating top of the 2018 Law Class at UniIbadan, I definitely had high hopes for Law School and I was not exaggerating my competence. I had consistently proven to myself https://twitter.com/nenyenwarueze/status/1335300183807172610
that I could take on whatever role or task I wanted and achieve results applying the much-needed determination. It had worked since I was born; felt like a solid blueprint and it became a part of me- I built character, leadership and consistency out of it.
Primary School -top of the set and valedictorian. Secondary School - top of the set. University- top of the set... until I met Law School.
Getting posted to Yenagoa Campus was the most difficult thing- the conditions were just terrible. No clean water 95% of the time, poor or
Getting posted to Yenagoa Campus was the most difficult thing- the conditions were just terrible. No clean water 95% of the time, poor or
unpalatable food at weekends (I recall going round Yenagoa with friends after Sunday Mass in search of food), no electricity (power lasted only 3 hours all day; just enough to get your phone and lamps charged and do some ironing). Yet, the system would not pardon.
You’re expected to be on top of 5 bulky courses with more than 100 hot topics in Law and over 500 drafts within the slim timeline of 6 months (in my time). Goodness! Everything got so discomforting.
The large mosquitoes, the geckos over my wall, keeping the time to expect water
The large mosquitoes, the geckos over my wall, keeping the time to expect water
the broken pipes and its smelly aftermath, the struggle for front row seats in class (I’d leave for class at 4am to secure a good seat especially because I was myopic) and the struggle to keep my mental health in check as exams came.
In the middle of these, I won the British
In the middle of these, I won the British
Council Future Leaders Connect and jet out of Nigeria for the two-week engagement in the UK. Because I knew what was at stake, I completed the entire NLS Syllabus for the first time at Week 14/20 and in the middle of a highly engaging policy making programme in the UK, I made
sure to devote 4 hours daily to Law School. When I returned, I had no problem fitting in- I was ahead of the entire class and was merely revising along with the lectures. In the din of the overwhelming pressure, I had my first fainting experience in class due to low
glucose levels. That weekend was tough. I realised my mental health was messed up when I asked a friend to get me my books on the hospital bed for me to catch up on my reading target for the day. Lol.
While attached to a drip bag, I hardly cared, I was thinking about what
While attached to a drip bag, I hardly cared, I was thinking about what
the principle in Odutola v Papersack or INEC v Buhari was. Regardless, I was prepared for the Bar Exams and I did all I could, leaving no stone unturned.
Then another round of anxiety started with waiting for the results for months in the middle of Covid-19. I was no longer
Then another round of anxiety started with waiting for the results for months in the middle of Covid-19. I was no longer
a Law Student but also not a lawyer. My track seemed tainted with confusion. After a few more months of thirsting, results were released and I made a 2’1.
I was shattered.
A Second-Class Upper is not bad but success is relative. A Second-Class was entirely new to me. In life.
I was shattered.
A Second-Class Upper is not bad but success is relative. A Second-Class was entirely new to me. In life.
I cried until my tear ducts went dry; I started crying empty noise. I wasn’t sleeping (went 4 days straight without sleep), my family and friends were worried, I hardly spoke, hardly ate- it was all like madness.
My Call to Bar seemed like the saddest day of my year.
My Call to Bar seemed like the saddest day of my year.
I was in a profession that was impressed by grades and I had lost a personal goal. It was not about anything else. 2 days prior, I had informed some friends that I was not interested in getting called.
@_end_of_july appeared in Abuja first thing
@_end_of_july appeared in Abuja first thing
the next morning and talked me into finishing a process I had worked for for 6 years. 15 September 2020 (Call to Bar) is forever etched in my heart. I had Uber waiting for me outside Eagles Square during the ceremony and I dashed out immediately after
As I shut the door, I was torn apart. I wailed uncontrollably for hours and pulled myself (swollen eyes, runny nostrils and all) to the reception my family and loved ones had planned.
That night, I picked my laptop, read my Rhodes Scholarship application for the last time,
That night, I picked my laptop, read my Rhodes Scholarship application for the last time,
said my novena, and clicked send. That moment, I chose to let the pain go, permanently.
At the Rhodes final selection, the highlight of my final interview, after responding to all the technical questions on my journey and aspirations, was when I was asked by @SanguDelle if I
At the Rhodes final selection, the highlight of my final interview, after responding to all the technical questions on my journey and aspirations, was when I was asked by @SanguDelle if I
had experienced a low moment I wanted to share; something around my biggest fear.
Tears flowed down my face as I recollected my law school experience before the 13-man panel. For completeness, I had appeared before panel wearing my law school neck scarf and explained the symbol.
Tears flowed down my face as I recollected my law school experience before the 13-man panel. For completeness, I had appeared before panel wearing my law school neck scarf and explained the symbol.
The transition from pain to honour was surreal. Looking back, I am happy law school happened as it did. It’s the fact that I can identify with the emotion of feeling subpar, the fact that I have learned and unlocked a new level of strength - that one which is fired up by the
courage to rise above disappointment, the zeal to fix your gaze forward and the hope that time, chance and grace answers all expectations.
So even if your path becomes sandy, never lose sight of your track.
End.
So even if your path becomes sandy, never lose sight of your track.
End.
Dedicating this part to thank @_end_of_july @Haarduke @fbi_initials @OJayansola, Mujib, @AdeyemiAyeku @chineme_onuoma and @OmotundeOyebol1 who held my hand through a truly difficult season.
You have my love and respect, always
You have my love and respect, always
