So much batshittery has gone down, that I think a 2020 batshittery rewind is in order.

And tbh, you probably already forgot about like half of these.

JANUARY:

- We almost had a war with Iran, on like day 2. Literally.

- Trump promised to give free dishwashers to his supporters, cause why not

- Australia was on fire

FEBRUARY:
- Impeachment trial

- Mitt Romney grew a pair

- Parasite won an Oscar

- China trained an army of ducks to fight a locust plague

MARCH:

- Idiot Republicans got infected with COVID at CPAC

- Friday the 13th was the last “normal” day

- Toilet paper shortage

- Republicans argued that Grandma should die for the economy

- The MyPillow guy briefed us about COVID and said Trump was Jesus

- Tiger King

APRIL:

- Pat Robertson invents Coronalingus

- Trump tried to start a civil war

- Trump told us to inject bleach and put a lightbulb up our ass

- Kim Jong Un died for the first time

- 4/20/2020

- The Pentagon released videos of UFOs

- Crossed a million COVID cases

MAY:

- X Æ A-12 Musk

- Murder Hornets appeared and disappeared in like a week

- Alex Jones admitted to cannibalism

- Trump said testing was bad

- Chuck E. Cheese ended up being a front organization

- Grim reapers kept showing up in Florida

MAY (cont):

- A monkey stole COVID-19 samples and escaped a lab

- The US left the WHO

- Georgia deployed what appeared to be child soldiers

- Anonymous, Batman, the Witches, and the Amish joined forces for BLM

- NASA found a parallel universes

- Tiger escaped a Zoo

JUNE:

- Trump hid in a Bunker

- Protesters gassed just so Trump could hold an upside down Bible

- Third amendment was invoked for the first time in like a century

- Escorts exposed Lindsey Graham as Lady G

- Biden became the Democratic nominee

JUNE (cont):

- The Golden State Bridge began to sing

- Dog-killing toads invaded Miami

- Anonymous leaked Trump’s credit card and teens used it to buy expensive shit

- Tucker Carlson attacked Elmo

- Weird radio signal from deep space came in every 157 days

June (cont):

- A DDoS attack knocked down all major US cellular providers

- A green fireball cruised through the skies

- Feral boars ate $22k worth of cocaine

- Zombie bugs controlled by fungi

- Matt Gaetz revealed he had a secret son after being bullied

June (cont, was real fucking crazy):

- Drunk monkeys killed a guy and injured 250 people

- Second dust bowl

- HD pictures of the Loch Ness monster emerged

- The Milky Way ate a neighbor galaxy

July (finally):

- The bubonic plague came back in Squirrels

- Kanye West announced he was running for President (lol)

- Brain eating amoeba starved to death in Florida (literally lol)

- “Democrats are coming for your windows!”

- Half of verified Twitter got hacked

July (cont):

- Trump sends DHS to invade Portland

- Nunchuck bears

- Coin shortage

- Kris Jong Un

- “Demon Sperm gives you COVID”

- Trump suggested we delay the election

AUGUST:

- Pentagon release new info on UFO encounters

- The Libertarian Presidential candidate got bitten by a rabid bat

- Herman Cain began to tweet from beyond the grave

- Fire tornado

- USPS Police arrested Steve Bannon on a boat

- Two hurricanes collided over a town

AUGUST (cont):

- Jerry Falwell Jr’s poolboy

- Herman Cain claimed that the virus that killed him wasn’t deadly

SEPTEMBER:

- Trump claimed dark shadows were throwing cans of soup

- Trump tried to pimp out Sarah Sanders to Kim Jong Un

- Trump told people in NC to vote twice

- White supremacists partnered with Islamic Terrorists to overthrow the government

SEPTEMBER (cont):

- Osama Bin Laden’s niece endorsed Trump

- The moon started turning red

- Life in Venus was all but detected

- Exploding trees

- The moon is radioactive

- Brad Parscale barricaded himself with a gun and got arrested while naked

SEPTEMBER (cont):

- Eric Trump accidentally outed himself while on Fox and Friends

OCTOBER:

- Melania hates Christmas

- Donald Trump got COVID

- The entire Republican Party got COVID

- Murder hornets came back and disappeared within a week again

- New exotic ticks found

- Rudy Giuliani was recorded masturbating

- Real life spy named James Bond

NOVEMBER:

- Georgia swung the election to Biden

- Four Seasons Total Landscaping

- Biden won the election ten thousand times

- Rudy Giuliani Literally melts during a press conference

- The ghost of Hugo Chavez showed up

- First giant monolith showed up and disappeared

DECEMBER (so far):

- 3 other monoliths show up and disappeared

- China is making genetically modified soldiers

RANDOM SHIT I MISSED:

- Kim Jong Un died like 3 other times

- Rumors said Putin would resign

- Destiel became canon (Idk what this means, so don’t ask)

- Poland accidentally invaded the Czech Republic

- Monkeys took over a city iin Thailand

- A star literary disappeared

MORE RANDOM SHIT I MISSED:

- A pair of gay penguins stole an egg from a pair of lesbian penguins

- Iran asked INTERPOL to arrest the President

- Kobe died

- Planes kept crashing

- The UK finally left the EU

- Bloomberg ran for President for liike 2 weeks

- Megxit