I’m rewatching #attackoftheclones given the last #mandolorian, and it is absolutely, truly an awful movie. Like, I wear the rosiest of tinted glasses and it’s deeply upsetting. Why is Anakin a horrific stalker? Why did the art team never watch a single previous Star Wars film?
Why is Natalie’s hair like this? This is...not her hair texture?
Rose Byrne didn’t deserve this.
This film honestly looks like the team from Heavy Metal worked on it. Say what you want about the sequels but at least their ship design has, like, right angles.
“Jedi Business, go back to your drinks.” Nothing says Star Wars like an intergalactic Dave and Busters?
“I’m taking a leave of absence. You will need to take my space, ambassador Binks.”
“Meesa I’ve been taking on this heavy burden!”

What is upsetting about this is that entire rooms of well paid adults were like, “yes, this is fine, this will do.”
Padme: “don’t look at me like that?”
Anakin: “why not?”
Padme: “it makes me uncomfortable.”
Anakin: “but what if I just cross every boundary?”
A SPACE DINER. WHY DO SPACE DINER https://twitter.com/oodja/status/1335491473580707840
Padme: “I have a memory of sand.”
Anakin: “I don’t like sand, it is coarse and reminds me of my mother. Unlike you, you are soft and smooth.”

This seems to be the recurring theme of their relationship.
Despite having an incredibly important part of the Star Wars lexicon we never see the Kaminoans again because their design is “The Alien from Cocoon But Long”
Anakin: “let’s tell people how to live”
Padme: “that sounds an awful lot like a dictatorship.”
Anakin: “yes that’s rad, I’m into that”
I’m not going to even comment on the fireplace scene, aside from just making high pitched whirring noises.
Obi Won: “there’s your romance, and a burgeoning civil war, and mysterious clones...”
Anakin: “and my mother for some reason”
Obi Won: “and your mo...wait, what?”
What in the Zaha Hadid is this?
Did Shmi Skywalker get sold into sexual slavery?

The only thing kids love more than intergalactic trade war negotiations is watching people get human trafficked.
The Techno Union Army is singlehandedly the most interesting part of this movie?
Anakin: “I killed them all like animals, because they were animals.”

Padme: “as an educated, attractive and wealthy senator, this type of language is reasonable to hear in a partner, to me.”
One thing this movie gets right is that you have to go to AT LEAST seven planets per Star Wars movie and each one has to have an extremely specific biome. Water Planet. Tree Planet. Etc.
The honest truth is that these movies have no sense of levity. If you watch any of the originals (or even the sequels) they have a slyness that is fun to watch
Anakin: “I thought we decided not to fall in love”
Padme: “yes, but the things you have done since then, which include
🔘genocide
🔘promising to use power for personal gain
🔘eschewing all of your beliefs
🔘 throwing stuff in a temper tantrum
has made me decide otherwise”
The brilliant thing about this movie is that it reimagines Yoda as the leader of a fascist, eugenics-created army.
As @oodja says, Darth Sidious lives on the New Jersey side of Coruscant. One upside to Coruscant is the culture, architecture and restaurants. But, nooooo, Sidious is in Trenton.
Wow. That was bad. It was worse than I anticipated.
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