THREAD-The time is RIPE for a true Home Alone 3. It’s been 30 years. Kevin McCallister (40) is now the Associste Artistic Director at Carnegie Hall (a Brenda Fricker nod). He and his husband Derek (played by Dan Levy) live in Kevin’s late Uncle’s Townhouse on the UWS.

The couple travels to Chicago to spend one last Christmas at home with his recently widowed mother (Catherine O’Hara) and then help her move out of the big old McCallister house.

Because it’s been 30 years, Marv and Harry have served their time for armed robbery. They are released and have thought of nothing but revenge. To get Kevin McCallister where they want him, they hatch a plan to kidnap kevin’s mom.

Kevin and Derek arrive in Chicago after accidentally sleeping in and running through JFK to make their flight JUST in time. They arrive at an empty house with a ransom note that says “We have your mom little buddy.”

Kevin and Derek call the police and they get the same useless cops (Larry Bankin and Kate Johnson) from the original Home Alone. Derek is distraught, but Kevin knows exactly who took his mother and takes it upon himself to get her back.

It turns out Marv and Harry have taken Kate to the church near the McCallister house (the one where Kevin connected with Old Man Marley 30 years prior). Sadly, the church went under 10 years prior and has sat empty since.

The tables have turned. Now kevin (& Derek) have to go through the fun house set up by Marv and Harry. Kevin is much smarter than the burglars are when it comes to homemade weapons and is able to evade each trap. Derek is not so prepared and gets caught in most traps. Hilarious!

Marv and Harry have Kate in the basement. While they are putting Kevin and his husband through the booby trapped church, she is able to cut herself free and she takes a crucifix and hits both bandits. They collapse easily because they are now 63 and 77.

Kevin, his mom, and Derek flee the church and head back to the house. Kevin reveals to his mom and husband how he knows the Sticky Bandits and what transpired on those Christmases 30 years ago.

Derek is wildly alarmed (as only Dan Levy could pull off). While they are sharing secrets, Kate reveals she had an orgy with the polka band that drove her from Scranton to CHI in 1991. She doesn’t regret it & she never told Kevin’s father. Kevin and his mom hug by the Xmas tree.

Kevin then says they should rig the house with traps & try to catch the geriatric Sticky Bandits (who are lying dead in the church). Kevin’s husband thinks this whole thing is insane and calls the police. Lana Del Ray’s cover of “Somewhere in My Memory” plays over the credits.