Three things that are not the same:

1. cross-dressing
2. gender non-conforming
3. transgender

(thread)

1. Cross-Dressing

A cross-dresser is, for example, a man who dresses up in women's clothing.

The reason we call it "cross" dressing is because they're intentionally wearing clothing associated with a different gender.

This is wonderful. But cross-dressing ≠ transgender.

2. Gender Non-Conforming (GNC)

Someone GNC might wear clothes associated with another gender.

The reason we call it non-conforming is because it bucks stereotypes - why shouldn't a man wear a dress? Why is it "women's clothing?"

This is wonderful. But GNC ≠ transgender.

3. Transgender

A trans woman is a woman. If she wears a dress, she's not cross-dressing or GNC - she's wearing the clothes associated with her gender.

A trans man is a man. If he wears a tux, he's not cross-dressing nor GNC - he's wearing clothes associated with his gender.

There may, of course, be overlaps.

A trans woman might enjoy cross-dressing -- that is, intentionally wearing men's clothing.

A trans man might be gender non-conforming -- that is, he might think that clothing shouldn't be gendered, and just wear whatever he wants.

This can happen:

1. Little boy likes wearing girl clothes, but doesn't know why. He wears his sister's clothes in secret.

2. Boy gets older and realizes gender is stupid. He starts wearing girl clothes in public. Why not?

3. Eventually, he realizes he's actually a girl.

In this story, our protagonist at first thinks they're cross-dressing, and then thinks they're gender non-conforming, and then finally realizes they're actually trans.

This can also happen:

1. Girl likes wearing boy's clothes, but doesn't know why. She wears her brother's clothes in secret.

2. Girl gets older and asks, "am I trans?" She transitions to living as a boy.

3. Eventually, she realizes she's not trans, just GNC, and detransitions.

In this story, our protagonist at first thinks they're cross-dressing, and then thinks they're trans, and then finally realizes they're actually gender non-conforming.

Both of these stories are real, true stories.

One might think they're GNC before realizing they're actually trans.

One might think they're trans before realizing they're actually GNC.

The existence of trans people doesn't negate the existence of cross-dressers or gender non-conforming people.

The existence of cross-dressers and gender non-conforming people doesn't negate the existence of trans people.

There is NO REASON why a gender non-conforming person who isn't transgender should be pressured to call themselves transgender.

AND, there is NO REASON why a trans person who isn't gender non-conforming should be pressured to call themselves that.

Apples and oranges.

I genuinely don't understand the concerns from #GenderCritical folks and #terfs that gender non-conforming people are pressured to call themselves trans.

I just don't get it.

These are different things.

You can be GNC and not trans.

You can be trans and not GNC.

Both exist.

Again, just because trans people exist doesn't mean that cis people can't be gender non-conforming.

And just because gender non-conforming people can be cis doesn't mean that nobody's transgender.

Transgender people are transgender.

Gender non-conforming people are gender non-conforming.

These two statements are not contradictory, nor are they mutually exclusive.

They are reality.

In sum:

Three things that are not the same, but all very real:

1. cross-dressing
2. gender non-conforming
3. transgender