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Okay, I’ve got some shit to unpack regarding this tweet because of how false the things said about BDSM are here. I’m gonna give a rundown of what BDSM *actually* is, and it’s gonna be a thread because not everything I have to say on the matter can be summed up in one tweet. 1/
BDSM does NOT eroticise abuse nor does it eroticise inequality, and I’m gonna explain why. Abuse has absolutely NO PLACE in BDSM. If the relationship is abusive, it’s not BDSM. It’s just abuse disguised as BDSM. The reason? The most important aspect of BDSM is SSC; SSC stands 2/
for “Safe, Sane, Consensual”. To break this down even further: 1) Safe means that the safety of all involved is taken into consideration. Everyone has their limits, and that’s to be taken into account during play. If someone gets hurt, a scene ends immediately and the injured 3/
party is taken care of, whether the injury is physical or emotional/psycological. The safety of everyone is of utmost importance. 2) Sane is in reference to the psychological/mental state someone is in, if they’re capable of giving consent before play begins and during any 4/
planning. In this sense, it goes hand in hand with Consensual. If someone involved is too drunk or high to make decisions clearly, unless express permission was given before the intoxication for specific things to be done while in that state, it is not okay to do anything. 5/
3) Consensual is the MOST IMPORTANT part of SSC within BDSM. Consent is an absolute must. No consent means no BDSM. The moment consent is taken away, any continuation of what the consent was taken away for is no longer BDSM. All involved must give consent and can revoke 6/
consent AT ANY TIME. If any part of SSC isn’t involved during play, it’s not BDSM.
Furthermore, in relation to consent, pain and domination are eroticised, but ONLY within a CONSENSUAL context. Some people are masochists, and that’s totally fine; the things to remember there 7/
Furthermore, in relation to consent, pain and domination are eroticised, but ONLY within a CONSENSUAL context. Some people are masochists, and that’s totally fine; the things to remember there 7/
is that even masochists have our limits. Not every type of pain is enjoyable, and different people have different limits to the type and amount of pain that can be taken and still enjoyed.
As for “men enjoy hurting, coercing, and dominating women during sex”: this is false on 8/
As for “men enjoy hurting, coercing, and dominating women during sex”: this is false on 8/
so many levels. First off, this statement is transmisic and homomisic on top of being sexist. It relies on a cisheteronormative mindset and ignores many different experiences of many different people. Men can enjoy being dominated and women can dominate men. Aside from that, 9/
nonbinary people can enjoy BDSM just as much as binary men and women(whether cis or trans); I’m one of them. I’m nonbinary. I’m queer. I enjoy BDSM. I do not tolerate abuse and I do not tolerate inequality. That’s all I have to say on the matter for now. I hope this clears 10/
up some misunderstandings about what BDSM is. 11/11
