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So I'm going to talk about this whole concept of older men dating 19, 20 year olds and why slapping the predator tag on them is a bit misdirected and seen only from one perspective, and hopefully you read this thread with a bit of open-mindedness, and see the POV I speak from.
Now, there has always been this funny overlap between morality and legality. It's been an issue for a long while. But it's actually straightforward. Legality deals with the constitution of the place you abide in. Morality is an individualistic concept. Morality is literally your
"personal business", as it is popularly said. You shouldn't force your morality and moral standards on others. But you have to abide by the constitution. People can do immoral things, as long as they're not illegal, and if you have an issue with it, you have to personally avoid
those people. Problems arise when there's a double standard when in a concept such as the definition of 'decency' or of premarital sex, we preach the gospel of morality and legality, but when it involves people's relationships, we forget about it. I feel that is wrong.
Unfortunately, a 19 year old female is LEGALLY an ADULT. She's allowed to dress how she wants and choose what she considers moral and immoral as regards her person. Make her decisions. Is a 38 year old ADULT man trying to date her illegal? No. Is it immoral? That's for you and
every one to determine personally. If you feel it is wrong, good on you, but forcing everyone to agree and adhere to your morals is also very wrong. It's how we can't let others decide how we live our lives, but want to decide what should happen in others' relationships. How?
Life is literally about learning and making decisions. Literally. This young woman decides she wants to date someone she's richer than. Does that make her a predator? No. Life is not balanced. We want an ideal world, but it is really not possible. That's why there're laws.
The thing we consistently say is these older men after younger women might have some tendencies, and that can be agreed to. But it's 'might'. Nothing is ascertained. An older woman might enjoy the company of a much younger boy. Still no-one's business. As long as no laws are
broken. The use of that word 'predator' seems very harsh. Because it's like the way we all detest a woman who dresses comfortably in her skin being called "olosho" or "ashawo" scornfully. Judging based on moral standards, and not illegal doings.
I hope we understand this and
I hope we understand this and
instead of vilifying already made choices, try to help young adults to make better choices and learn from their mistakes.
Everyone's choices are what would make or mar them anyways.
Humans are shit, regardless of the age difference between those in the relationship.
Selah.
Everyone's choices are what would make or mar them anyways.
Humans are shit, regardless of the age difference between those in the relationship.
Selah.
