The Royal Family: the bloody media seems to be painting us in a very ungenerous light! They’re even making things up! We need to pull together now to refute these claims.

Meghan:

But tbh if the rumour that Charles has agreed with the Queen that he will take the throne next year is true, I’m not surprised they’re in a panic. 20 years of careful, painstaking PR blown up by 10 hours of telly. And we haven’t even got to Tampon-gate yet.

How long before Charles throws his brother under the bus with, ‘look guys, at least no-one’s saying I’m a paedophile, right?!’

William and Kate, silently glinting at each other in Norfolk. ‘Just do nothing, like Granny says...it could be us next year, darling, this could be the moment...’

It is a constant source of amusement to me though that Royal Family is so obsessed with appearing respectable, as if that is what we want from them. Listen, loves, THAT SHIP HAS RATHER SOMEWHAT SAILED, I’D SAY.

Anyway, lovely people, I’m sure. Wish them well, wish them well and all that.