1/ I graduated from BYU in 2018 and I've had about 2.5 years to a) attend another university to see the contrast and b) process my experience there. Here we go. 0
2/ A lot of BYU is lovely and novel and sort of weirdly childish in a way that can be endearing. Stone Cold Sober chocolate milk celebrations! Blue foam slip and slide at the beginning of the academic year! Clean shaven men and beautifully dressed everyone, everywhere you look!
3/ It's almost like a fairytale land on the surface level. Everyone eats tons of sugar and no one drinks. Everyone appears to be in love and kids fill the campus with their barely-adult parents and devotionals are given each Tuesday about topics like faith and love and hope.
4/ But there's a LOT going on underneath that facade. A lot that is uncomfortable for people to look at or deal with. Marriage rates AND divorce rates are high. LGBTQ+ students have gone through hell and back. Faith crisises are common but can't be dealt with
5/ on threat of getting kicked out. Sexual assault and the honor code do mix and yet the latter often fails to hold perps accountable. Students, who are all adults, are treated like children and expected to behave like a weird mix of adult children-people who
6/ and get married and have babies and also who can't be trusted to be out late, make their own decisions about clothing and grooming and even faith. It is a strictly-maintained childlike atmosphere.
7/ With this said, I loved my classes at BYU. I was an English major and felt that most of my professors were able to separate religion and our education, giving us an insight into the broader world around us. That can't be said for every department.
8/ I took a personal finance class in the business building and quickly dropped it, feeling absolutely suffocated by the undercurrent of prosperity gospel and competitive righteousness that was palpable - even vocalized - in the first few weeks of the course.
9/ Graduating from BYU has done wonders for my mental health. I don't feel the daily guilt of wanting to be more than an adult child, going through the motions of the imposed culture there.
10/ My point? Adults can make adult decisions. When we treat people like children, they often respond by acting like children, which is, I think, the reason we see what is under the surface there.
11/ Sexism is real there. Racism is real. Homophobia is thriving. There are people there working against all of it, but until BYU loosens the reins of control and starts letting adults be adults, they won't ever feel challenged in a way that forces them to see beyond themselves.
12/ So drink the chocolate milk, sure, but maybe let's encourage BYU students to grow up a little, take down the facade, and get to know the real world and the people in it a bit better. This starts at an organizational level. The culture there is not an accident.