Read on Twitter
High Maintenance Women
I had a discussion a few months ago with a young man regarding the topic of “high maintenance women”, and the negative connotations attached to them. Firstly, I believe no one should be vilified for having high standards.
I had a discussion a few months ago with a young man regarding the topic of “high maintenance women”, and the negative connotations attached to them. Firstly, I believe no one should be vilified for having high standards.
Far too often we are expected to accept an existence rife with mediocrity. He explained he was off-put when his friends made light of his decision to spend (what would be considered by some some) a great deal of money during a date.
Words such as “simp” and “trick” were thrown around. I knew where the convo was going, so I asked him to describe the woman. He described her as beautiful, ambitious, and studying finance in college. He wanted to impress her hence why he put in such a degree of effort.
Based on his explanation, clearly she was a woman of a particular taste, and had a vision for her life. He had a great time with her, said they connected, and wants to explore with her.
Yet I could tell he was very much bothered by what his boys thought (he’s still at an impressionable age). Firstly I told him to get rid of those clowns he converses with. Any man who clowns you for spending money on an ambitious woman (or any woman) is a fuckin' loser.
You want a pretty, intelligent women, it come at a premium (as it should!). Secondly I told him if this woman inspires him to step his game up, and be the best version of himself, and he truly believes she’s worth it, GO FOR IT!
He is a young man of focus and extreme potential. His friends and romantic partner should be a reflection. Unfortunately his "friends" are incapable of seeing the bigger picture. It’s the cheaper option that’s often the most expensive.
Allow me to reiterate, “IN LIFE, THE CHEAPER OPTIONS ARE OFTEN THE MOST EXPENSIVE!”
I understand this is a sensitive topic for most men, but let’s consider the notion of pursuing the woman who isn’t “high maintenance” (meaning a person with high standards).
Is said woman challenging/inspiring you to be the best version of yourself? Is she willing to accept the description you KNOW is subpar? If so, how does that affect your motivation long term?
What is a decade of sleeping with an enabler of mediocrity going to do to your drive? Yet you don’t really notice because it’s subtle. A little cheap date here, subpar outing there, and before you know it, you’re making excuses for being lesser.
Yet women of high standards tend to inspire those of us who aren’t intimidated. Like one of my OG’s said “You only worry about high maintenance if you can’t maintain”.
Yes she may be considered expensive on the front end. Yet if you spend 500 on her or higher, instead of mulling over the cost, why not ask yourself “how can said cost feel less impactful?”. At least that’s how I operate.
How can I make spending 500 feel like 50 bucks or 5 dollars? What is necessary for me to reach the next level? I take inventory of my life as frequently as possible.
Just like the next man I’ve done the work and continue to do so. I left the young man with the understanding the woman he chooses to be with, is the physical manifestation of his self-perception, and how inept he is at decision making.
This is one of the reasons why when men arrive with their wives/girlfriends to business functions, many of them are being judged by the caliber of woman they’ve chosen.
Logic dictates that if we preach the importance of not hanging with “broke niggas”, (read:men with no ambition), we should do so with the women in our lives. There’s noting wrong with a woman who is an overachiever.
She's not automatically a soul sucking gold digger, who will never "love you for you". They are merely better suited for overachieving men. If that’s not YOU, then you should seek the person who best suits the vision you have for your life.
