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Intentionally fostering a safe space for your [platonic] female friends to open up about their lived experiences, is very important.
The most important part in having such open and vulnerable conversations is listening. Listen intently, with the genuine desire to learn.
Appreciate the fact that as a man, you are not, and will never be, the most authoritative person to speak on what navigating womanhood feels like.
Again, listen intently, with the genuine desire to learn.
Again, listen intently, with the genuine desire to learn.
Some things you may be able to speak to, but most things will be out of your depth.
Openly acknowledge that you do not understand certain issues and make the time to find out more about them, on your own. Not with the aim to speak to them, but to deepen your understanding more.
Openly acknowledge that you do not understand certain issues and make the time to find out more about them, on your own. Not with the aim to speak to them, but to deepen your understanding more.
Please appreciate the trust that is being given to you in such moments. If you feel that you can not be able to provide emotional support that your female friend needs, it is good to be honest about it and to encourage them to speak with someone else who knows better.
Do not exploit your friend's vulnerability for sex. Do not, even for a moment, think that you're entitled to it.
If you feel that you can't properly separate emotional intimacy from sexual intimacy, then the best thing is to tell your friend to open up to someone else.
If you feel that you can't properly separate emotional intimacy from sexual intimacy, then the best thing is to tell your friend to open up to someone else.
In these conversations, you'll likely hear men being portrayed in a way that might make you feel uncomfortable. Sit with it. It is not the moment for you to jump and yell "Not all men..."
Instead, reflect on why you're defensive, and pull apart your ego.
Instead, reflect on why you're defensive, and pull apart your ego.
Be intellectually honest as you use the information that's being shared with you to reflect on your position on things, and think about how the way you show up in the world is affecting women. I cannot emphasise pulling apart your ego enough.
You have to confront some ugly parts of you, that you may have never thought to be having an effect on the wellbeing of women.
Guilt and shame may creep in but acknowledge that you were wrong in the past and commit to making the change.
Guilt and shame may creep in but acknowledge that you were wrong in the past and commit to making the change.
Develop empathy. The kind that doesn't need you to other your female friend into some emotionally relatable person (eg imagining them as your sister, mother or daughter).
Meet them where they are instead. See them as they are. Accept that their experience is their truth.
Meet them where they are instead. See them as they are. Accept that their experience is their truth.
