During the last training I had with some women in Ottawa, I realized the importance of creating a knowledge sharing space for yourself and others where there is honesty, willingness to learn & share experience, reciprocal vulnerability, relatability, and gracious affirmation.

We talked about the need to reassess failure with a strategic assessment framework.

What is failure trying to teach you?

Is it about your strategy and execution, time management, planning, mindset, attitude towards work/life, communication, networking, interpersonal skills?

Is failure trying to let you be aware of barriers affecting your personal and career development?

Is failure trying to let you reformulate your strategy?

Is failure trying to make you evaluate your errors of commission and error of omission when pursuing personal goals?

Is failure trying to teach you more about your career sweet spot - where your strengths, passions, and value to others overlap?

Is it trying to show you ways to re-evaluate your weaknesses and maximize your strengths for the opportunities ahead of you?

Is failure pushing you to ask yourself - What am I good at and what skills do I still need to develop (areas of improvement and growth)?

What is it that you’re naturally drawn to and where do you have proven talent?

What do other people say you’re good at?

Are you more intent on trying to get what you want or are you focused on not failing? The answer is an important piece of self-knowledge and self-awareness.

Were there details or cues you missed that had you thinking you were on the right track when you weren’t?

Is failure making you understand what tasks energize you rather than drain you? What are you working on when you get “in your zone” or “in the flow?” What areas could you continue exploring without growing bored? What is your X-factor? What are you learning & doing?

Is failure trying to make you aware of your personal leadership?

Do you lead by presenting compelling logic? Do you lead by challenging yourself to shoot for an inspiring goal?

Do you know how to lead yourself and others with softness, dignity, graciousness and gratitude?

I think we should explore & share the things that make us uncomfortable. We should lean into the discomfort to make sense of the messy emotions & complexities that surround our day-to-day lives. We should feel comfortable telling the failure stories & how we picked ourselves up.

Without the lessons learned and experience gained, we may become oblivious of our strengths and resilience. Failures come in all sizes and shapes.
I'm not talking about dead-end failure that results in loss of mental courage, loss of opportunity, regression, or stagnation.

We talked about how concealed failure can lead to guilt, shame and hopelessness. Failure can be a dark and self-deprecating place when handling it alone, and for that reason, we all need supportive and kindhearted people nearby to remind us to turn the light back on in our minds.

"Remember the two benefits of failure. First, if you do fail, you learn what doesn't work; and second, the failure gives you the opportunity to try a new approach." ~ Roger von Oech

If we fail, let us fail forward.

“Do not be embarrassed by your failures, learn from them and start again.” ~ Richard Branson

Failure is an inevitable part of learning. In any & all endeavours, we will experience failure. The question is what & how next are you going to do to be better/ improve & bounce back?

Reframe the failure/setback (cognitive reframing)

Use counterfactual thinking - this helps you get a sense of what's going on, give meaning to your life, and get a better perspective on things.

Refocus your mindset—whether it’s fueled by approach or avoidance mindset.

Lack of deliberate focus can make you miss the very obvious signals in a situation. It’s called inattentional blindness.

What are you approaching or avoiding when working on your personal goals?

Locate your energy flow

What keeps you going? What sparks your inner light and gusto? Do something that fully engages you on every level, that puts you in flow. Do something that heightens your feelings of involvement, commitment, can-do mentality, satisfaction, and gladness.

Don’t belittle yourself. 

Don’t beat yourself up. It’s the next opportunity that matters, not the previous one. The previous one matters only in that you must learn from your mistakes. If you figured out what went wrong last time, then you know how to make it right next time.

Realize that you can make the necessary strategic timeout and changes next time. Deliberately take the necessary actions that will make the difference. Study your mistakes and learn from them. Instead of dwelling on them, simply acknowledge, reframe, reflect, & learn from them.

When you miss an opportunity or face a setback while pursuing or realizing your goals, you need to encourage yourself by immediately getting back in line. If you fall off track, get right back on. If you fall away from your disciplines, get right back to them. Motivate yourself.

If you fall out of habit, get back into it. Something goes wrong, do what you can to make it right. It might be hard. It might be scary. Keep your resolve alive, active and well. Cheer and motivate yourself on to victory. You can do it. You can make it. You can live your dreams.

Your current limitations or failures are the building blocks from which to create greatness. You can go where you want to go. You can do what you want to do. You can accomplish your set goals. You can unlock new opportunities and possibilities. You can flourish and excel in life.

The doors will open once you decide to get back on your feet and make your mark. In your own enlightened self-interest, give a run at adventure. Keep your eyes firmly set on achievement. Don’t settle for mere existence and self-pity. Make a commitment to excellence.

There is always a turning point.

There is always an area of improvement.

Once you understand this, it’s easier to identify your strengths and weaknesses. From there, you can take strategic steps & decisions to learn, grow, and improve.
Operate your life without guilt or shame.

Ask people the right/reasonable questions that will lead to the right answers.

Ask your trusted friends, families and others in your close network for guidance, support, resources, recommendations, and opportunities. I mean people who want the best for you (not naysayers).

You can learn from mistakes, setbacks and failures. You can live & enjoy the life that you've envisioned and designed. You can change things, starting now, right where you are.
Let those failures give birth to great opportunity & more clarity, not prolonged agony & regret.

Udo